It's getting late. Some days farm work feels like it will never end. The cows need more feed. There is not enough grass. It is so hard to stay optimistic. It's a nice night. It is just Ella and I. So we head up to the barn. We walk through the field. The field Elijah and I worked in. The field we wrapped and stacked bales. The memories are so vivid and real. Dobie comes with a load of manure for the pack barn. The rhythm of the day. The comradery of farming neighbors. We chat for a bit. The farmer smiles.Yes, ... View Post
When The Day Begins
Will the overwhelming feeling ever leave? Each morning before I wake. It is there. I fight for each thought. It is those moments I surrender. I breathe deep. Fear not for I am with you. We will make it through this day together. My God and I. He will give me the strength. He will give me eyes to see beyond the pain. He alone will guide my steps. The ache and pain. I hand over to Him. He will bring good from this mess I see. He is the source for my hope and strength. He is the calm in ... View Post
How Does One Let Go, When You Want To Hold On Tight?
How to walk this road; nobody knows. Learning to let go when you want to hold on tight. The future torn from you. Death. The silent thief. Knows no boundaries. Respects no heart. We, a people, not meant for death. Created for life. Abundantly. The searing pain rips through. Again, and again. A walk past the room. A graduation cap and gown. The sound of a siren. Again, and again, the pounding pain. He is no longer here. He is no longer here. There are no coming homes. I do not cook his favorite meal. I write no letters and receive ... View Post
Sometimes, What We’re Given, Is Not What We Want. Can You Relate?
He cracks a joke. His eyes twinkle. He doesn't smile. He doesn't have to; his eyes always have. He participates in a discussion. He prays. My farmer is feeling better. A weight beginning to lift. Even for a moment. His walk with the Joy Thief long. He has continued to climb those walls; doing the hard work. Nothing will ever be the same. But having a piece of him back is exhilarating. I miss his handlebar mustache. A different thief at work. Radiation and Chemo stealing unknown fragments along the way. Sometimes we don't ... View Post
What He Has Gained
The bell tolls. It's been more than 20 years since I have heard that sound. It stirs the memories held deep. The 4 months I lived across the street. When time was measured by the toll of the bell. The hour. The half. It seems like a life time ago. All my future still before me. Young, innocent. My walk with God was different then. He was all I had. There were few distractions. Much time spent in prayer. Though the richness and depth came with time. As I turn the corner the tolls end. I can feel the companion of sadness and loss begin to permeate. ... View Post
It’s Only A Couch
We shop for a couch. I just about come unglued. There are so many choices. Don't let the fabric bother you, she says. You can have it in any fabric you want. Like the fabric becomes the end all? It's only a couch. Yet I am paralyzed. So many choices. It's only a couch. Maybe ours really isn't that bad, I start to think. The frame broke years ago. So there is a wee bit of a sag. Years ago, as well, the seams separated after the buttons popped off. Stuffing spills all over clothes and intertwines with your ... View Post
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- …
- 155
- Next Page »
