How would she have known- that mom at the store? How would she have known that her red headed boy pushing that cart reminded me of my own. Memories of grocery shopping trips flood my mind. The time I knocked over a whole display of Queso? What's up with those flimsy, cardboard displays anyway? How can you maneuver 5 kids, a cart and myself through the store, around those displays? I think of the time I almost left the cart and took the kids out. . . Oh, wait, I did do that. Left the whole cart and apologized to the cashier. I loaded those kids into the car and sat behind the steering ... View Post
It’s Been Another Year
It's been another year. I can't believe it. 8 years. Where has the time gone? I saw a purple Nutcracker in the store the other day. I laughed. I would have bought it for you. You would have loved it. I can hear your laughter; even now. You made Christmas so magical mom. I've sat many nights in my parlor remembering our Christmas's on Putnam Street and then in your log cabin. Our tree resembles nothing of those tinsel, garland covered giants growing up. I loved coming downstairs and smelling the piney scent. I loved the stillness and glow of the colored lights. I will ... View Post
Finding Peace in the Fall Foliage
She waves as she pulls away. It's Friday afternoon and she's full of life and plans. She is navigating friends, classes, work and this thing we call life. I look at her and she smiles. I wonder as she pulls away if I will ever see her again. Will she too never come home? I think of that with all the kids. Especially as they drive away. Not always. Sometimes. It flashes before me. And the gut wrenching desire to hold them all right here with me rears. I turn to go back into the house. I don't want to descend into worry or fear. But, Oh, how easy it would be. I take a moment to ... View Post
The Daily Grind
The Daily Grind. The same. Yet different. The alarm goes off. I snuggle closer to my farmer. These days have been so long and hard. Winters grip is tight. Wood is not burning. I lay my hands on my farmers shoulder as he awakes and silently pray that all he touches today will have success. He rises without a sound. His day has begun. It's 3:15 am. Before he heads to the barn he will make my coffee and bow his knee to the Giver of Life. He will check the boiler here to make sure the fire is going strong. Then and only then will he head to the barn. Once there the daily ... View Post
Day #27 of Thankfulness
Have these 27 days changed you? Is thanks more on your lips than not? They say it takes 30 days to establish a habit. We're almost there. My default is not thankfulness yet. It is still work. I hope the thanks comes a little quicker. We have named our thanks for 6 years of Novembers on this page. We have to want to change. We need to want it bad enough that it becomes a priority. I want to be a grateful person. I want to see beauty before the harsh. That is not always the case. I tend to be critical and judgmental. Harsh before soft. I'm trying. I try not to say everything ... View Post
We’ll Gather Together, Day #22 of Thankfulness
We'll gather together around the farmhouse table. Family. Eating. Laughing. Remembering. You see two of us mama's walk through this holiday with a deep ache. We remember Thanksgiving's gone by. Days when we were all together. The table full. Now there are empty spaces. Cousins gone within 2 years of each other. Place settings where no one will ever sit. The order of life interrupted and grief our companion. These children won't share in our meal. Our sons laughter will not ring throughout this farmhouse. Their sounds stilled in this life. Yet, we both are learning to ... View Post
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