This cute little bear showed up on our doorstep on Christmas Eve. A week after my farmers mom met Jesus. Each one of the siblings received the same gift. A bear. The perfect reminder of a wonderful woman. Teddy Bears lined her stairway. They nestled in nooks and crannies in her old farmhouse. They adorned coffee mugs. Mugs filled with steaming coffee as we sat around her farmhouse table. A teddy bear room decorated to appeal to every youngster to enter the room. And so this cute little bear resides in the parlor that was once hers. 6 of her grandchildren and countless ... View Post
It’s Been Another Year
It's been another year. I can't believe it. 8 years. Where has the time gone? I saw a purple Nutcracker in the store the other day. I laughed. I would have bought it for you. You would have loved it. I can hear your laughter; even now. You made Christmas so magical mom. I've sat many nights in my parlor remembering our Christmas's on Putnam Street and then in your log cabin. Our tree resembles nothing of those tinsel, garland covered giants growing up. I loved coming downstairs and smelling the piney scent. I loved the stillness and glow of the colored lights. I will ... View Post
She’s Still So Missed
It was the week before Christmas. The presents were wrapped. Plans were made. Life was in full swing. There was a High School concert to attend. Kids to dress, dinner to eat. I still remember; I had made chicken and biscuits. I had teens that I mentored over. My great niece was playing with the kids. I needed to return the teens to their home. It was time to get ready for the concert. I couldn't reach my Mother in law to retrieve the bundle of energy, I called my great niece. I had too many kids to fit in the van. My farmer came down to take the youngest farm boy with him. I ... View Post
It’s Christmas
It's quiet. There is a noticeable hush over the farmhouse. Morning milking is still in progress. Such a slow process. The cows are dirty and wet from being outside. My farmer works so hard. This added burden- hard. The Christmas mornings of glee and boundless energy. . . gone. All but memories now. Instead, there is a comfortable quiet. Deep remembering. Much joy. It's still a different kind of Christmas. But that's ok. Heaven came down and touched earth. The greatest gift ever given. Today we rejoice in that gift. We receive; that which we do not deserve. Merry Christmas ... View Post
We Gathered Together, in this Old Farmhouse
We gathered. Together. Our family. Changed. In so many ways. The ebb and flow of life. It thrills. It hurts. We press on. Reaching for what is truth; for what is real. Searching for meaning. The loss of a child. The sequential order; interrupted. Life, defied. A gash, a hole, an emptiness. It can't be repaired. It can't be replaced. Yet, somehow a filling begins. Slowly. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Grief is work. The Holy Spirit softly and quietly fills and soothes the ache. The roaring pain eased. It will surface again and again. But for a ... View Post
The Holiest of Nights . . I Gave Birth
Her blue eyes twinkle. Her laugh contagious. She was born on the Holiest of nights. Her time within my womb one of my sweetest memories. A surprise. In the midst of grief. A reminder to pause and be grateful. Slow it down. Pause and wonder at it all. How did Mary feel? How did she travel those roads? I reveled in modern comforts and ease. She came on the Holiest of Nights. After the stockings were hung. After I had called it a day. Her arrival announced. A disruption around us. The first child born with out my beautiful mother in law. She came forth and we named her ... View Post
