What are you waiting for? The question seems to hover. Ideas and thoughts run through my head. Yet, somehow, I am paralyzed to move forward. Excuses. Walls. Fear. And I wonder, What am I waiting for? I have learned how fragile life is. I know deep loss and unbearable ache. I know time is short. But how do you make the best of it? Do you search for the unknown and take all kinds of risks? Or do you slowly, safely make your way through? What are you waiting for? The question haunts me. Am I motivated by fear or faith? I have never been a risk taker and I don't like to ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #2
What keeps us practicing a habit? What motivates us? How do we establish a routine, a task, a habit and stick with it? Gratitude. A habit I have practiced for more than 10 years. Naming. Intentionally. Giving praise. Even in the hard. Even through the ache. Recording. Seeking and searching. Yet somehow, this year, I have found myself more unsettled and frustrated. . . Until I realized I have forsaken a habit. I have neglected the intentional practice of naming my praises and Thankfulness. It may sound trite or insignificant. Yet, there is great wisdom in this ... View Post
How Would She Have Known?
How would she have known- that mom at the store? How would she have known that her red headed boy pushing that cart reminded me of my own. Memories of grocery shopping trips flood my mind. The time I knocked over a whole display of Queso? What's up with those flimsy, cardboard displays anyway? How can you maneuver 5 kids, a cart and myself through the store, around those displays? I think of the time I almost left the cart and took the kids out. . . Oh, wait, I did do that. Left the whole cart and apologized to the cashier. I loaded those kids into the car and sat behind the steering ... View Post
Farmhouse Musings
Soup simmers on the stove. The weather is mild. No sunshine. But no chilling wind either. I hang the sheets in hopes they will dry. A friends daughter was here so I could help her with her school work The table is littered with tax work and book work. There is laundry to fold. And I want to hold tightly to these moments. I want to slow down. I want to sit with the here and now. I want to count every moment holy. I want to be content in all things. Content with the messy table and dishes still to wash. Not wanting something else, not longing for something that is not mine to ... View Post
Stillness, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 8
That night, in the quiet, there was a stillness. The veil was thin. My son had been called home. My red headed boy. Full of life and dreams. A heart captured by a sweet love. Interrupted. Silenced. My God, that I serve, asked me to walk a road no one wants to walk. The stillness of that night remains with me. There was a holiness and a peace as I stepped forward. I moved in a state of praise. Our first language. I defaulted to what I knew as grief began it's journey. I had a heart still reeling from the loss of my mom. So, I chose to step forward in a rhythm of ... View Post
Distracted, Distraction, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 4
Distraction a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. Distracted unable to concentrate because one's mind is preoccupied. Can you relate? Distracted, distraction. I feel like I'm distracted from my distraction sometimes. My kids are always telling me, "Mom, listen to me." "Look at me." And most of the time I feel like I'm trying so hard to focus on any one thing. I make lists, only to never complete them; Or lose them. Lists reminding me of how distracted I became. Off task. Unaccomplished. Distracted My home; a hodge podge of unfinished ... View Post
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