We find ourselves once again at the end of the year. November. A month to reflect. For the last 10 years or more November has been a month to be intentional about naming the gratitude and thanking God for all. Not just the good but all things that have passed through his hand. I don't know what season you find yourself in. . . But I find myself in a season of huge change. Kids getting married and leaving the home. Babies being born and my babies all grown up. My role as a mama has changed. Gone are the days of schedules and driving to and from events. There is an occasional ... View Post
10 Years Ago We Buried My Son
10 Years ago today we buried my son. That red headed, fiery temper, witty, handsome boy. My first born. The one who called me mama. Gone. In a moment. I didn't even know it. I don't like to think about that night. It's so painful. A part of me died that night too. I felt it. How can you lose a child? As I stood in front of those police officers. In my dining room, by the farmhouse table. The place we welcome visitors, I received this information. I remember trying to breathe. Conscience of the act. Slow down. Breathe all the air in you ... View Post
The Last Seventeen
She arrived amidst parades, fireworks and cookouts. There was fanfare and hurrying around as the birthing process took a turn for the worse. After the miracle of surgeons and modern technology there she was! Pink, tiny and holy. Our firecracker. Our last. Not that I knew it at the time. But somewhere inside, I knew. The last time. I held her longer; tried to take mental pictures to remember the moments. I didn't want to forget. I wanted to be intentional and slow time. She helped by being a child who cried. . . all the time. So, I held her. Held her longer and tried not ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #6
We took the day off. We finished our chores. My farmer hooked up the outside part of the new boiler and we decided to go for a drive. The balmy 70° weather made us giddy-ok, that may be a stretch. But we intentionally chose to be together and leave the work. This is hard for my farmer. Yet he so enjoys these moments. So, we drove. We talked, a bit. Until I fell asleep. There is something about sunshine in a moving car that lulls me into slumber. It always has. Maybe because I struggle with carsickness, sleep was a default. Or maybe it's because the quiet, the sunshine, the ... View Post
10 Birthdays Without You
When we celebrated his 17th birthday, we had no idea it was his last. Who thinks of those things as you enter your Senior year of High School? We were all busy living life and enjoying the moments. Until we weren't. Until on a beautiful summer's night, our son never made it home. And all the living and life stopped as I once knew it. All the things I thought I knew, changed, in a moment. Here we are 9 years later. Celebrating the 10th birthday without our son. 10 birthdays have come and gone. I dread the day when there will be more birthdays without him, than with him. This ... View Post
Choose This Day
Choose this day whom you will serve. Words from Joshua in the bible. Challenging the Israelites to choose. Choose who you will serve- The Gods you once knew, or the God of Heaven and Earth. Joshua and his house chose the Lord. Joshua 24:15 Each day we are faced with a multitude of choices. Split second and some prayed and agonized over. Choices that will affect us, change us. 9 years ago, July 27, 2013. I remember this day so well. So many choices made that day. A choice by the oldest son to go to a shooting match. My farmers split second choice to go watch him. The choice ... View Post
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