Choose this day whom you will serve.
Words from Joshua in the bible.
Challenging the Israelites to choose.
Choose who you will serve-
The Gods you once knew, or the God of Heaven and Earth.
Joshua and his house chose the Lord.
Each day we are faced with a multitude of choices.
Split second and some prayed and agonized over.
Choices that will affect us, change us.
9 years ago, July 27, 2013.
I remember this day so well.
So many choices made that day.
A choice by the oldest son to go to a shooting match.
My farmers split second choice to go watch him.
The choice to make pizzas and watch a movie.
The choice to sit across from my son, at the table, gazing into his deep blue eyes and listening
to his excitement as he shared about his time at the shooting competition.
Then his choice to leave and go to the movies.
His girlfriend was home, and he was so excited to see her.
Little did I know that those choices would be the last he would ever make.
That the simple choice to listen and look at him would be forever etched in my mind.
That the choice to walk him to the door and ask him not to go out would be the last time I would see him or hear his voice.
I told him I loved him; he told me he loved me and not to worry.
He looked into my eyes.
I still see his expression.
9 years later.
You see, my son would journey to Jesus in the early hours while we all slept.
And from the moment the police woke me from a sound sleep I made choices that would affect my life.
My world shattered in a moment.
Life as I knew it ceased.
My kids’ lives would never be the same.
Their red headed, blued eyed, adored, brother would never be coming home.
Long before this day I had made a choice.
As a teen, I had chosen for me and my house,
I would serve the Lord.
I chose to walk a life in surrender to God.
I rested in that Ancient Word, day after day.
I drank in the words and the peace that comes from the life lived through Christ.
I have practiced year after year.
Moment after moment surrendering my life to live as Christ.
And in the moment of shock and unbelief while the Police shared with me
details of the crash, as I realized that we were without power, I made a choice.
I chose praise.
A walk of deep gratitude.
It was the only walk I knew.
It was the only way I knew how to move.
It was a default cultivated through a lifetime of leaning into a Savior that
loved me more than anything I could ever imagine.
I began to praise God for who he is.
I praised him for my legs.
I asked the police to stay here while I showered.
I was shaking so much.
It was about 3:30 in the morning.
My farmer and farm boy had headed to the barn.
I thanked God for the water and the towels.
I thanked God for the clothes I could put on.
I thanked God for that sweet young farm boy.
The police left.
The sun hadn’t yet poked its head above the horizon.
I climbed the stairs to my daughter’s bedroom to shatter her 16-year-old heart.
I thanked God for each of the 16 squeaky steps.
I paused in the doorway to that oldest farm boys’ room, and I thought I would collapse in a heap.
I breathed in the scent of him and saw his clothes in a pile on the floor from when he changed the night before.
I thanked God for that room, and I thanked God for his faithfulness and mighty power.
I thanked him for my son.
Oh that handsome, wonderful boy.
Soon the sun would crest the mountain.
God would display his mighty power in a gift.
The first of many.
The sunrise was spectacular that morning.
Yet, God wasn’t done.
He would display his majesty in the shape of a heart.
I never saw it until someone pointed it out to me in the picture, I captured that morning.
That was 9 years ago.
We have continued to make choices each and every day.
Choices to keep our eyes on the Lord and
to look to him for strength and hope.
I choose to serve the Lord.
The ache of losing our son will never go away.
A million times a day I think of him and wonder what he’d be doing.
What would he be like?
I long to hear his voice.
I long to argue just once with him.
I long to hear him come running down those stairs.
I choose to serve the Lord.
I choose to stand in the Presence of a Holy God, trusting Him, even in this deep ache.
I will never understand why God allowed what happened to happen.
But I will choose to trust Him and serve him with all I am.
God isn’t finished writing our story yet.
We want this story of our farm boy to bring hope and healing to those around us.
We all have choices before us.
We hope and pray that you too, choose this day.