My farmer walked into church.
I stayed at home.
He picked up the drum seat and held it up.
It is called a throne.
He shared, with a shocked congregation, that our beautiful red headed, blue eyed boy,
now sat before the ultimate throne.
His life ending abruptly.
No good byes.
We went to bed that Saturday evening with no idea we would have unexpected visitors in the early morning hours.
Our beautiful son fell asleep at the wheel and met Jesus.
He wasn’t drinking or speeding.
He had plans.
He was living his best life.
A girl friend.
He was leaving for Parris Island for Boot Camp, on September 2, his 18th birthday, a mere 6 weeks away.
He never kept that appointment.
A cousin, who worked at Parris Island asked for the flag that was flown over
Parris Island on September 2, 2013,
His arrival date, be shipped to us.
What a gift.
A fingerprint of God.
He cares about the details.
I miss my boy.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him.
His presence is missed in everything we do.
Yet, God didn’t finish writing that story on July 28, 2013.
He took my heart and he held it.
He wrapped our family in the love of our church, friends and a Community that still won’t let go.
He has shown me day after day that He is here.
He will not let us go.
Even when it feels lonely and hard, he has not left us.
This plan is so much greater than I.
There is so much I can’t see and I don’t understand.
I just need to trust.
I need to dig in and trust in the plan that God has.
As I continue to let go. . .
Let go of the pain,
Let go of the expectations.
When I let go of the perfection and way I think things should go;
God is able to do the work He has planned.
God reaches in and quiets the fear.
He quiets the sadness and ache.
His ways are good.
I don’t have to like them.
I don’t have to agree with them.
I just need to trust Him.
These are uncertain times.
Yet, we can know true peace.
We can experience joy beyond measure.
We can know for certain where we go when our work here, on this earth, is complete.
We just need to let go.
Let go of the things that squelch our purpose in Christ.
Let go of the struggle.
Let God pick up the pieces and hold you.
Invite Him in.
There is life to live.
We each have a unique purpose.
Our journey is to seek that purpose through the working of God’s spirit.
He will guide us.
God never said life would be easy.
But, He said He would never leave us.
This verse has strengthened me.
I have cried out these words over and over as my heart felt like it would split in two.
I repeated them over and over during this past winter and my farmers deep, deep depression.
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Part of me is still stuck in 2013, and will always be.
One of the hardest parts of this journey is that time marches forward and you can’t stop it.
And you have to be part of it, because you don’t want to miss what God is doing.
And the jumble of how that feels is hard to describe.
God is here.
He is in our midst.
He is working.
He never stops.
We just need to trust.
Hold open your hands so that God may pour into them life.
Life everlasting and life with purpose here on this earth.
Thank you for walking this journey with us.
Thank you for holding us when we can’t seem to walk anymore.
Thank you for the encouragement along the way.