It’s his Birthday, once again.
He’d be 26 today.
9 Birthdays in heaven.
I can’t seem to grasp the concept.
This is the day he made me a mom.
This is a day of great celebration.
And so I enter the day apprehensively.
I celebrate the 17 years I had.
Yet, I grieve at the loss.
The ending. . . so soon.
The loss of the future.
And I vacillate.
I still don’t know how to do this.
I am still unprepared at how I feel each year.
That too is an unknown, until the day arrives.
The loss of a child alters all that we once knew.
We are forced into a new journey.
There is work to be done to not be dragged under the waves of emotions.
There is work to be done to stand on solid ground.
With each year that passes the work continues.
There is not one day that goes by that my first thought of the morning is the deep loss.
I awake to praise God and thank Him for a new day.
I then thank him for my children and to watch over their steps.
And the awareness that one calls heaven his home is before me.
And today, as I remember the gift given to us in Elijah, I continue to thank God.
I can’t change the course of events.
But I can live fully in the grace of God.
I can seek His face daily.
We are here for a reason.
God isn’t finished with us yet.
Oh, how I want to be faithful.
I am grateful for a Community who has never let us go.
I am grateful to God for never leaving us nor forsaking us.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Each day I will step into the grace given.
When we practice gratitude we change.
If I can encourage anyone on this journey we call life, it will be to practice gratitude to God.
One moment, one step each day in gratitude.