She’s Still So Missed

It was the week before Christmas. 
The presents were wrapped.

Plans were made.
Life was in full swing.
There was a High School concert to attend.
Kids to dress, dinner to eat.

I still remember; I had made chicken and biscuits.

I had teens that I mentored over.
My great niece was playing with the kids.
I needed to return the teens to their home.
It was time to get ready for the concert.
I couldn’t reach my Mother in law to retrieve the bundle of energy, I called my great niece.

I had too many kids to fit in the van.
My farmer came down to take the youngest farm boy with him.
I loaded all the rest into the van.

It was a beautiful evening.
The sky was clear.
It had snowed, big fluffy Christmas flakes.
My heart was full. 
I returned home from dropping off those teens.
I unloaded the kids.
The rush on to eat and get to the concert on time.

Still.
No word from my mother in law.
This was just before we had cell phones.
I called her house. . . again.
And it rang and rang. . .
Until.
My farmer picked up the phone.
The course of our lives would dramatically change from that moment on.

My dear mother in law had not been answering my calls because she had met Jesus somewhere in that time.
I had just been at her house.
A healthy, happy woman.

She was stripping paint off a beam at the top of her stairs.
I can still see her sitting there.
I was to take the great niece to my house for a few hours so the kids could play.
Then, she would pick her up so I could get to the concert on time.

Now, in the span of a few hours, God had called her home.
A week before Christmas.

She is still so missed.
18 years.
Yet her presence is felt in so many places.
I see it in the faces of her children.
The kind eyes and servants heart.
I see it in her handwriting on the precious recipes I still make.

I live in the home she raised her children.
The home she so lovingly managed.
I have fallen short by so much.

I don’t posses the energy she had for creating and fixing.
I don’t have her organizing and cleaning skills.

But that’s ok.
I am me.
She was she.
And I loved who she was.
She was my dearest friend.

My mentor and model.
She birthed the man I said yes to. 

I miss her.
We all do.

I will be forever grateful for the years I had with her.
I long to emulate the person she was.
She reflected Jesus in all she did.
Her kind and gentle ways a magnet.
You wanted to spend more time with her.
One loved to be in her presence.
There was a stillness and hope that inspired you.

My mom and my mother in law met Jesus in the month of December.
The season of waiting.
Preparation.
Advent.
The holiest of holy’s.

I ponder these things while we wait.
A week from Christmas.