Would I Still Have Said, “yes”?

Would I still have said , “yes” had I known how marriage would be?
Our feelings get hurt. 
Life races at warped speed creating a vacuum and time is not available.
Time needed to work out issues or express feelings.
It’s just not there.
There’s deadlines, and kids.
Meals to prepare, houses to clean, bills to pay, homework, ball games, dances, ministry, you name it.
So. many. distractions.

We’re misunderstood. 
It’s not always easy being married.
Even after 26 years.

Yet, isn’t that the challenge?
How do we make it, “against all odds?”
I don’t know.
I really don’t.
All around us marriages are fracturing.
Ugliness bubbling up in the middle of what was once beautiful.

I find this picture while cleaning out one of the “piles” that has accumulated through the years.

Such a simpler time.

His parents, my parents and a future waiting to be.

I wonder if I knew then, what would happen in this life, if I would have still said, “yes”?

If I knew that I would watch that beloved man step to the threshold of death, would I still have said, “yes”?

If I knew I would lose our first born before we met them and then lose our next one after knowing them for 17 years,
would I still have said, “yes?”.

If I had known that for almost 10 years we would struggle to pay bills, buy groceries, and to try to keep this farm,
would I still have said, “yes”?

If I had known that the barn we had our reception in would blow down 24 years after we were married, would I still have said, “yes”?

Yes.
Yes, I still would have said, “yes”.
Because I didn’t say, “yes” to only the good.

I said, “yes” to to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance.

I said, “yes’, to the worse, before it got better.
I said, “yes” to the sickness, so the health is so much better.
While it’s not perfect.
It’s a beautiful journey.
There are ups and deep downs.
We said according to God’s holy ordinance.
There is something outside of us spurring us on.
A common ground.
A Creator cheering us through the toughest of times.
I don’t know the future, or how long we have left.

Each night when I go to bed, I wonder if it will be the last.
I wonder how much will I regret someday?

I know how fragile life is. 

But I’m human and my feelings get hurt, I lash out, I’m stubborn and selfish.
We said, “until death do us part”.

That death has been closer than I care to admit. 

So, we choose to forgive.
We swallow our pride and humble ourselves before our spouse.
We give,  even when we’re tired.
We say, “yes”, even when we want to say no.
Because the foundation of a marriage isn’t based on the whims of our emotions or feelings.
It’s rooted in the deep love God showed us on the cross.

I am watching a woman sacrifice everything to pray her husband back home to their marriage.
She’s giving all so that he will return.
It’s a mirror image of what Christ has done for us.
She’s fighting for what she believes in; her vows made.
Her hope is contagious.

Today we celebrate 26 years of marriage. 
Holding fast to the hope God gave for all.
And if I had to do it all over again,
I still would say, “yes”.