A song. A memory. Hope. It brings you back. To a moment; in time. I can see it clearly. My mom always had music playing. As a child we listened to music for Spring Cleaning, different music for regular cleaning. Music for a Sunday, music when the Holidays were upon us. All embedded in my memory. I now have my mom's stereo. A turntable, radio, cd player combination. As I cook dinner. . .as we get ready to send the college girl off , I hear a song. For a moment I am in my mom's house. I can smell, the smell of her clean home, I can hear the music, For a moment. It passes as ... View Post
Finding Strength in Those Memories
When I close my eyes; memories swirl. So much delight. Joy; In the midst of work. I rest in those times. Moments that have made me who I am. Moments that have shaped my faith and choices in this journey. Today marks the 15th Anniversary since my mother in laws passing. A night etched in my memory. So sudden. My absolute best friend, role model, encourager and nurturer. She was the glue that held so many of us together. How I still long to hear her voice. Ask her advice. Sit at her farmhouse table drinking hot coffee, while wrestling with life questions. Her strength spurs me ... View Post
Forced Seclusion Begins a Much Needed De-Cluttering
I'm forced to seclusion. My allergies overpowering. My air conditioned bedroom; my reprieve. Haying, lawn mowing, beautiful blossoms; all causing me discomfort. So, I head to my bedroom. On a gloriously sunny day. I am forced to look at the clutter. The piles of clothes. The boxes of paper. Most of it needing to go. I begin the process. Cards sent when our world shattered. When our first born son was called to glory at 17. When cancer threatened to take a good man down. When the joy thief knocked ... View Post
Raising My Ebenezer
The smell intoxicating. I never knew how much those lilacs would come to mean to me. The years visiting my mother and father in law's grave. Breathing the deep scent. Now as I sit here at my sons grave, the tears flow and the ache gnaws away; the heady scent is refreshing; comforting. For each moment needs to be turned to Praise. Because we are a people created to praise. To give glory and honor to the One who created all. It's strange to sit at your sons grave, in a century old cemetery and seek praise. But that's what I do. I give praise and thanks in the ... View Post
Backyard Dining Notched Up A Bit
We dined Alfresco. The girls, always in character, notched their table up a bit. Lights, candles; a special space. Dressed to the nines. They poured water from old wine and sparkling cider bottles. Hospitality. Fun. Memories. Moments when little girls were not thinking of grief or cancer. Psalm 118:4 The LORD has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad. Find just a moment today. A moment to give thanks. To be grateful. Even in the storm. God will meet you there. ... View Post
It Is Well With Me. . . .Because Of Him
It's been a year. A year since we were outside harvesting the sunshine for winter. Working together. Spurred on by the holy spirit I went to the barn. 2 kids off at camp. The other 2, with friends. So I went to the barn. To be with my son and my farmer. I wrapped bales. I slowed the process. I wrote on bales. Messages for the dark of winter. I wrote on one bale in particular; which we found months later. When the battle of cancer versus chemo and radiation was waging. I didn't know, ... View Post