The call came later than I expected. But it came. I waited. I waited for the kids to come running down the stairs, eagerly asking if school is closed. I waited patiently for a stirring. Nothing. After a while I receive a text. School? I send back an elaborate video explaining, in a sing song voice that school is CANCELLED! Another text comes in. School? I send the same video to that child! And again. . . I wait! I wait for the sound of running on the stairs! The screaming as the realization hits that it's snowed and there's a snow day! I wait for the rush of snow pants and ... View Post
And. . . It’s 2018! A New Year!
It's 2018. A New Year. The icy blast has left temperature in the New Year below zero. So far below, in fact, our vehicles would not start. My farmer left chores to come down and get both the college girls car and my van started. There is work and school to go to. But it is cold. Stepping into a New Year is still so difficult. We move further and further away from the life with our son. It is heart wrenching, yet I am powerless to stop the New Year from coming. Do I really want to? 2018 promises to be full of new beginnings. Our farm boy will graduate from Boot Camp from Parris ... View Post
‘Seeing’, What Lies Ahead
A new year has begun. Unmarred. Fresh. New. These past few years have been hard. The passing of the old, a reminder of time. Time moving forward without those we have loved so dearly. Learning how to live; differently. Breathing. In and out. One foot in front of the other. Searching for hope. Choosing joy. Standing on solid ground. I will admit it has been a hard year. Folks have moved on. Their lives not impacted much by the loss. Our loss. Another grief walk, as we said Good Bye to my dad. All while life is ebbing forward. I find it hard to commit. Staying on task has ... View Post
Are You Really Ready?
They're building at the accident site. Someone has put a Quilt Show sign right in front of the pole. I am sure they have no idea that the heart of a 17 year old ceased to beat in that space. That the ground holds his blood. But the sacredness of that space is temporal. His spirit was gathered in a cloud and whisked to the holy of holy's. Reigning now with the King of all Kings. A life time is being lived while part of me still remains; there. She looks me in the eyes. This wise teenager. So different from the others. Sensitive. Stylish. Hard working. She leans over and says ... View Post
Walking Through- It Has to be Done
It never goes away you know. The ache. The missing. It's always there. Always. A piece of you. Your child. Gone. It never leaves me. Ever. I think about him all the time. I wonder what he'd be doing. How he would react to something. Yes. Life is ebbing forward. Time. All held in the palm of the hand of the One who called that time into space. We lost our nephew a year ago today. The heart wrenching loss. My farmer's youngest sister. Now a part of the exclusive club no one wants to join. A year since his kids have been wrapped in his loving embrace. Sometimes I can't ... View Post
This Last Day of 2015 We Will Gather to Mourn and Celebrate a Life
It's been 29 months. Well. The other day. And I could barely get out of my own way. The whole day. The sadness overwhelming. But not for me. Not for my journey. For my Sister in law and her family. For a family in our Community. A father of 4. On Christmas Eve. A beloved husband. And I wept. Repeatedly. For the journey they are on. For a love cherished and honored through the years. Bearing 4 beautiful children. Athletes and scholars. For the wake where they will ... View Post
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