We clean up that farm boys room; because it is a mess. Really. All the rooms are a mess. Clothes, papers. Clutter. Everywhere. My cluttered home has seeped into my soul. The clutter of grief and loss. Daily consuming. I fold a shirt. It belongs to the son who has left this earth. I can feel the ache. It has threatened to spill over all day. The loss. Another in the community has lost too. Another accident. One so young with 3 children. And I just can't bear the ... View Post
Stepping Forward; It’s Been 2 years
I want to stand in front of the pole And will it to not be. As if being there at the time of the accident could stop it from happening. I stare at the pole. Someone has so lovingly mowed this area and planted flowers. The knowledge that someone else remembers fills my aching soul. It is now 2 years since our boy walked this earth. 2 years of walking a path that is rough and ragged. This time has been filled with life - full, and moving on. Some days the moving on is so deeply painful. It takes all I am to ... View Post
The Surprise In A Friendship; When You Were Expecting To Be Alone
Her rich, deep voice is directed towards us. Her eyes sparkling. I answer her question. She exudes joy with a touch of mischief. We exchange pleasantries. As in all conversations there comes a defining moment. She shares that she lost 3 of her siblings in a matter of months. My heart lurches with the known pain of losing so many in a matter of months. I hug her. And a friendship is born. Decades apart in age. Unity in the Spirit. In the morning session she comes running down to greet us. As I should have ... View Post
When You Spend Time Alone; You Realize How Never Alone You Really Are.
Alone. Yet never alone. Even in the darkest moments. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. I am not alone. Richard Blackaby continues his talk. He speaks of Elijah. I want to weep at the mention of his name. But it is the Elijah of the bible, of whom he speaks. The Elijah who is called to speak to Kings and Prophets; and then is asked to hide in a ravine. To be fed by ... View Post
Alone
Alone. That's how I find myself this week. Plans to spend time with the youngest. Changed. And now. Alone. At first. I do not know how to react. Alone. In a room. A clean room. 2 beds. Meals prepared. Solid biblical preaching. All alone. My own schedule. Clean towels everyday. Coffee. Everywhere. In the room. In the lobby. In the dining hall. Alone. I don't do alone. I find someone to accompany me to the store. I fight off the panic that ... View Post
When You Become Older Than Your Brother
Today. She is 18. The age her brother never saw. The age we were anticipating. She, now older than him. We knew this would happen. He will remain. . . Young Forever. She,will forge on ahead. A life full of hopes and dreams. She will cling to her rock. Her Savior. Trusting for each day. At Summer Bible Camp she gave a testimony. Brief. Yet a reminder that Jesus reigns. That her life belongs to another. Her pain and sadness is known by a Holy and Loving ... View Post
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