It's been 4 and a half years since I've seen your handsome face. I long to hear you call me mom. Crystal shared a video of you today. Just the sound of your voice brought me to my knees with missing. I think the ache will leave. I believe it will fade away. But. It doesn't. It is still there. The piercing, gut wrenching ache. But. You know what. I'm ok with the ache. A companion. It reminds me of the gift you were to me. Our prayed for child after our deep loss of our first baby. 17 years of watching you grow and learn. I had a gift; a treasure. Death can not steal those ... View Post
Stories
In the dim light of dusk we trudged through the snow to the door. Light spilled from the windows of the farmhouse store. Antiques lined the pathways and porch. Most covered with a layer of white. I took in the scene. Stories. A seaman's trunk. A high back chair. Wrought Iron chair and tables sing of garden tea parties and warmer weather. What stories these hold. I step into time as I cross the threshold. Tables and headboards from days gone by. Hutches and buffets crowd the small space. Yet there is an order, despite the seeming chaos. Chairs and end tables. Pictures and dishes ... View Post
Grateful, All The Time
My waking thoughts are gratitude. A grateful heart. Temperatures have fallen and the house is a mere 56 degrees. I run the dryer and turn on the gas fire. I wrap a shawl around my shoulders as I pour my hot coffee. Each morning my farmer prepares my coffee. A timer set to brew moments before I wake. I am grateful. These frigid temperatures make everything more difficult. My farmer works extra hard to manage the farm. He adds extra layers of clothing, his primary concern; the cows. With a partial roof over the barn the cows have a bit of reprieve from the brutal weather. I am ... View Post
Warm Weather, Rain and A Roof; A Miracle
They move like a well oiled machine. You can hear their bantering. A sing song like chatter. Moving. Quickly. A miracle. The rain pours down. They work; unphased. It has been a little over 2 and half months since our barns blew down in a windstorm. These months have been harsh weather wise. Snow, wind, sleet and freezing temperatures have impeded progress on rebuilding. Builders in our area have been swamped. Help - just not available. Yet we persevered with the help we had and pole by pole began the rebuilding process. Our coffee buddy, busy with his own farm and ... View Post
And. . . It’s 2018! A New Year!
It's 2018. A New Year. The icy blast has left temperature in the New Year below zero. So far below, in fact, our vehicles would not start. My farmer left chores to come down and get both the college girls car and my van started. There is work and school to go to. But it is cold. Stepping into a New Year is still so difficult. We move further and further away from the life with our son. It is heart wrenching, yet I am powerless to stop the New Year from coming. Do I really want to? 2018 promises to be full of new beginnings. Our farm boy will graduate from Boot Camp from Parris ... View Post
It’s Christmas
It's quiet. There is a noticeable hush over the farmhouse. Morning milking is still in progress. Such a slow process. The cows are dirty and wet from being outside. My farmer works so hard. This added burden- hard. The Christmas mornings of glee and boundless energy. . . gone. All but memories now. Instead, there is a comfortable quiet. Deep remembering. Much joy. It's still a different kind of Christmas. But that's ok. Heaven came down and touched earth. The greatest gift ever given. Today we rejoice in that gift. We receive; that which we do not deserve. Merry Christmas ... View Post
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