He had only 5 days left here on this earth. For in the early hours of July 28, 2013 he would meet his Savior. I wasn't there. He left home excited to see his girl friend. He looked into my eyes; those baby blues. He said, "Bye, don't worry." The next time I saw him, he was still; lifeless, in a pine box. I live each day without my oldest son. I work each day to seek the good God has given to us. Grief never leaves. It's here to stay. But what I do with that grief is my choice. With God's help I am learning to trust, to live, to praise. My eyes flutter open to the ... View Post
Feeding Calves
A whole row of them. The number as high as 18. Calves. It's that time. They're not in their pens yet. We still need to build them. There's so much to be done. Each calf needs a bottle. 18 of them. 2 bottles a piece. We love to have helpers on the farm. We've had a lot of them lately. We're so short on help. So, I pitch in. (Sometimes I think they wish I would stay home. I can be a little needy.) It was hot and I was sweaty. The flies hovering and biting my ankles. That's the day I choose to feed calves. But it was beautiful too. That farm boy came out to ... View Post
The Thank You Notes That Were Never Sent
Thank you notes. I write them. Or I write them in my mind. I actually enjoy writing thank you notes. A must when I was growing up. Gratitude expressed through the Art of writing. A gift I enjoyed. Sending cards. Notes of encouragement. Never a burden. My desk is filled with piles of notes that I have written. But never sent. . . My college girls thank you notes from her High School Graduation are still in a pile in the cubby hole in the desk. Our oldest farm boy was in the process of writing thank you notes. He never finished. I still have the notes. Some I have passed on. ... View Post
And. . . .Like That. . . .She’s 20
I run that night through my head; over and over again. The climb up the stairs. The pause at his room. His room that he will never come home to. The walk past his room; to her room. I needed to tell her that her brother now resides with the King of All Kings. I needed to tell her that her best friend, role model, recent graduate had fully graduated. I run that memory repeatedly. I broke her heart that day. I could see it in her eyes. I watched the innocence flee. Maturity took it's place. My 16 year old girl became an adult while she slept. Her world forever changed. Her ... View Post
Lessons From the Calves
The mama's and babies begin their journey to the barn. Just a few days old and those calves are strong and ready to move. It doesn't take them long to find their legs and explore. Yet they always know their mama. To her, they always return. Sometimes the calves need to be carried; the mama's follow. Seeking their Offspring. Today they walk; with their mama's, around their mama's. Flitting here and there. Yet always close. The journey never taking them very far from their source of strength . Why do we forget that lesson? Why do we attempt to live in our own strength? Prayer ... View Post
Fourth of July Baby!
She liven's up a room. Her eyes twinkle when she smiles. She's passionate and caring. She was born on the fourth of July. She's the youngest of six. She has a will like iron. She's my daughter. A gift. A treasure. When God sent her to us, He knew I would need this spit fire. I would need the challenge to keep going. To get up to care for her needs. To laugh at her antics. To dig for patience over her daily melt downs. When grief becomes your companion there are dark, dark days. Even with the King of Kings is on the throne. Even when the promise of Eternal life ... View Post
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