How can this be Your purpose? I stare at your picture and I still wonder, how can it be? How can you be gone? I look at your lop sided smile and the ache reaches the core of my being. For a moment I have to catch my breath. All seems to spin wildly. I miss you my boy. I miss you deeply. You were so handsome. So much still to come. I wrestle daily with the missing. Choosing to step each moment in grace. Knowing that God is working his purpose. His purpose for good. Yes. Even this devastating tragedy. Even in this loss. God is working things together for ... View Post
I’m Not Sure I’m Supposed to Understand
We're home from Parris Island. Our second farm boy graduated from Marine Boot Camp. He is living our Oldest Farm Boy's dream. You see our two boys were so different. Each with a heart to serve; just in different ways. And there's just so much I don't understand. I'm not sure I'm supposed to understand. Why does a handsome, hard working red head hit a telephone pole in the middle of the night and never come home? Why did his hopes and dreams to serve our country die with him? I'm not sure I'm supposed to understand. Why would the youngest farm boy start his own career and suddenly ... View Post
Doors, Lights Curtains, Oh My!
Doors, lights, curtains, Oh My! Building a barn is crazy! The farm was hopping yesterday. So much going on. There were garage doors being placed, curtains hung, measurements for stalls and new lighting going in. All at the same time. Our coffee buddy was hard at work putting finishing touches here and there. There's so much work to do. It's getting done, day by day. I can't look at the whole picture. I get so overwhelmed. I can't see my way through to how it's going to all get done. Yet, when I step back and look at how far we've come, I'm amazed. The ... View Post
The Night the Lights Went Out
The night the lights went out, my oldest farm boy met Jesus. He hit the telephone pole by the bank and the lights went out. The town was in darkness as my boy breathed his last. I walked around our home stepping into praise as I moved; in darkness. Praise for my legs, for hot water, for a shower, for clothing. A practice needed to walk through the darkest time in my life. He left this earth shy of his 18th birthday, and before his ship date to Parris Island. Tonight, our youngest farm boy embarks on a 54 our journey to become a United States Marine. The journey his brother never ... View Post
When Your Day Goes South
My day started off pretty decent before it went South. Coffee. The Ancient Word. A few moments of quiet. Then the derailing began. Just little things, here and there. I prayed. I tried to surrender each thing. Then I was blind sided. We took a hit here on the farm that we weren't expecting. My flesh reared it's ugly head. I wanted to lash out. My farmer wanted to lash out. But, he, in His wisdom spoke truth. Here we are facing another hurdle. Another slam in the face of all that we've gone through. But you know what? I feel relieved. A burden seems to be lifted. While ... View Post
Winter on the Farm
Winter on the Farm. Each distinct Season is beautiful in it's own way. There is purpose and need for each. Winter can be harsh and cruel; yet the beauty counteracts the hard. This winter has been hard on so many levels. My farmer shows amazing perseverance and grit. I do not possess such strength. In the face of all this adversity he continues to press forward. I would have given up long ago. Yet, somehow he pulls from a strength that is rare to see today. Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. He still find time to visit the ... View Post
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