The rhythm of the routine continues. There is hay down and baling to be done. Cows are up in milk and the management needs care and detail. It's the detail that makes the difference. It's what makes you stand out. Caring about the tiniest details brings you closer to your goal. Details may mean success or ruin for us. Those details seem hard. But they are ingrained in the beat of the day, so it is good. Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Each day brings friends. ... View Post
Leaning
I lean against the door frame to his room. His smell still lingers. I close my eyes. How long will it last? Tears threaten to overflow. . .once again. How can one shed so many tears? Oh how the heart hurts. I lean into the door and breathe deep. I breathe in the years of parenting. I breathe in the school plays, homework, parent conferences. I breathe in long discussions and life decisions. I breathe in the first moment I heard his cry and held all 9.1 pounds of him. And I lean into the memories. These memories are all I have of ... View Post
Gifts
The ride home was hard. Songs came on the radio that made us all think of Elijah. Ones mind wanders when you sit in a car for long hours. I dreaded walking through the door. I dreaded the laundry and all that needs to be done. I dreaded Gary heading to the barn, and not being with me all the time. Cedric held my hand as we drove, sensing my pain, mixing with his own grief. But God had other plans. When we pulled into the driveway my roommate from college was there with her kids. And 3 of my girlfriends were there with dinner all ... View Post
Coming Home. . .Again
I knew this would be hard. I didn't expect it to be easy. It's the coming home. . .after a loss. Things have changed. These were the words I wrote after we had lost our sweet puppy Pemberly. Oh how hard that was; and still is. We are coming home again. It's been good to be away. Many generous people have worked together to make this trip happen. Cards with money for gas. Dinner bill already taken care of in a gift certificate held at the bar. Dedicated and tired hands doing chores to provide us a little respite. But the ... View Post
Healing
How does one heal when your son is tragically and suddenly torn from this world. When he had just graduated High School and everyone is future oriented. When everyone is taking their babies to college and you won't see your's until Christ's return. What does healing look like? What does life look like when you have more questions than answers? When life continues all around you and you feel like shouting, This isn't right! IT'S TOO MUCH! This is part of what healing looks like. and this And this too. Luke 5:16 But Jesus ... View Post
Wandering
I wander through the house. There is much to do. I wipe down a counter, switch laundry. It all seems so trivial. . . My cousin said she wanted to be able to go back and just read about what I was having for breakfast. Oh, how I echo her words! I have hardly cooked in 2 weeks. I have hardly eaten in 2 weeks. Yet the abundance of food in this place has been tremendous. I wander. Everywhere I turn there are reminders of Elijah. With every step on the sod of this farm, he is there. There are fence lines he set. Calves he has fed. Earth he has turned ... View Post
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