A friend was just diagnosed with cancer. She has 2 teenage children. Uncertainty looms before them. Another friend moved away and is now in the battle of her life with cancer. Oh how I miss her. Our hearts ache and long for our redheaded boy. I watch my children cry; their hearts broken. Mine breaks a little more watching them. It's been 8 months since my mom died. How I long to share with her my deep ache. My dad is in need of intense care. My mind swirls with thoughts and my heart feels like. . . this is too much. Where do you go with deep grief; with questions that remain ... View Post

The rhythm of the routine continues. There is hay down and baling to be done.  Cows are up in milk and the management needs care and detail.  It's the detail that makes the difference.  It's what makes you stand out. Caring about the tiniest details brings you closer to your goal.  Details may mean success or ruin for us. Those details seem hard. But they are ingrained in the beat of the day, so it is good. Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God;    the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Each day brings friends. ... View Post

The ride home was hard.  Songs came on the radio that made us all think of Elijah.  Ones mind wanders when you sit in a car for long hours.  I dreaded walking through the door.  I dreaded the laundry and all that needs to be done. I dreaded Gary heading to the barn, and not being with me all the time.  Cedric held my hand as we drove, sensing my pain, mixing with his own grief.  But God had other plans.  When we pulled into the driveway my roommate from college was there with her kids.  And 3 of my girlfriends were there with dinner all ... View Post

I knew this would be hard.  I didn't expect it to be easy.  It's the coming home. . .after a loss. Things have changed.  These were the words I wrote after we had lost our sweet puppy Pemberly.  Oh how hard that was;  and still is.  We are coming home again.  It's been good to be away. Many generous people have worked together to make this trip happen. Cards with money for gas. Dinner bill already taken care of in a gift certificate held at the bar.  Dedicated and tired hands doing chores to provide us a little respite. But the ... View Post

How does one heal when your son is  tragically and suddenly torn from this world. When he had just graduated High School and everyone is future oriented. When everyone is taking their babies to college and you won't see your's until Christ's return.  What does healing look like?  What does life look like when you have more questions than answers? When life continues all around you and you feel like shouting, This isn't right! IT'S TOO MUCH! This is part of what healing looks like.  and this And this too.  Luke 5:16 But Jesus ... View Post