It's been 3 months. 3 months of not my will but thine. The seasons have turned. Time . . .has marched on. "We will mark time now with the date. Not a day of the week. Though Saturday evenings into the wee hours of Sunday will forever be etched in my soul." I do not like this journey any better after 3 months. It does not feel comfortable. It is abrasive and unsettling. Isiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.9 “As the heavens are ... View Post
Great is Thy Faithfulness, Even when Trusting is Hard
Great is Thy Faithfulness. Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” We are to be still. Even when our hearts are breaking. Even when Saturday nights leave me undone. Re-living each moment. Not wanting the other kids to be out. I am stepping into fear. And forgetting to trust. 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. He knows us. He created us. I ... View Post
Is Your Heart in a Delicate Balance Today?
It is a delicate balance for my weary heart. To embrace the joy that comes with new life. .. yet still longing for the one called home too soon. . . Oh be still my aching heart. Quiet the desire to see my son. Help me turn to praise; hold at bay the yearning. Turn it all to Jesus. Take from me the hurt. I surrender it all. God your presence is all I need. Be still the desire to hear the drums. . . Be still. Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the ... View Post
The Juxtaposition of Life And Death, Welcome Lilah Rose
New life. It has been six years since we wrote this post. This beautiful Farmette is now turning six and in Kindergarten. She is a joy and a reminder of beauty from the ashes. She is hope and sunshine. She is the future and grace all wrapped together. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- October 24, 2013 It is the middle of the day. I am at the grocery store doing a full shopping for the first time. My phone rings. It is Adam, our son in law. It is 12:43 p.m. I feel warm and peaceful inside. The first time in almost 3 ... View Post
There is Great Grace, And There is Still Beauty
My kids found these teenagers a few years ago on youtube. They love listening to their harmonies. As a child my family would sing this hymn,gathered around the piano, with my Grandmother or Uncle playing the piano like there was no tomorrow. Oh how they would sing and harmonize. My cousins family sings like that. It's a beautiful thing. Those are years of memories forever etched into my being. This song became near and dear to us as mom began her journey with cancer; as she stepped ever heavenward. Oh how she would sing this ... View Post
With Whom do I Wrestle?
My heart is wounded. I am tired. This path is wrought with grief and pain. The only way out is through. One needs to wrestle through the memories. Through the future that will never be; snatched away. I've been robbed. Robbed of graduation from Marine Corps Boot Camp, robbed of the future of our son. And it hurts. I can't change it. No matter the longing, it will never be. Yet my wounded heart is held in the palm of the hand of the One who created us. And as I wrestle each day with the reality of never ... View Post
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