It's the tears that come today. Not the words. Elijah's Baptism here on the farm. Psalm 100:5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. First day of Senior year Psalm 39:4 "Show me, LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. Winter ball Senior year Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. The memories ... View Post
When Trusting Comes Hard
I have a confession to make. I don't trust Him enough. At all. I get a call from a friend. She says I am not trying to be a nosy neighbor but I wanted you to know your tractor and manure spreader were stopped by the police. I start to shake. I tell her thank you. I can't stop shaking. I call Gary. I hang up the phone. I sit at the desk and shake. The tank could have flipped. My mind races. I relive the accident night over again. I hear God's voice. Do you trust me enough? My shaky voice answers, No. I don't ... View Post
Seeing The Wonder
I walk onto the field. It's the first home game. The first time I have walked onto this field since Elijah played. My friend is with me. She who has walked with me and supported me. Surprisingly, a sense of peace washes over me. I was blessed. So blessed by my son. I loved watching his team play. I think back to the day Caleb brought those sticks to the house. I didn't even know what the sport was. The kids loved it. Lacrosse became their game. I smile remembering. I look ... View Post
Sometimes He Does; Sometimes He Doesn’t
She asked for a banana and she was given 92. Just one. That's all she asked for. An impossible situation. She was a prisoner in New Guinea during the war. A missionary placed in a prison camp. Then accused of being a spy. Faith like a mountain. In the cold hard cell, Darlene Deibler Rose gave thanks for the tile. It meant she was out of the dirt. A blessing. She counted her 1,000 gifts right there in the prison cell. A woman alone. Her husband taken from her and gone the way of the saints. She was starving and ... View Post
Laughing In The Graveyard
The boy leaves me undone. Most days are difficult. Each word is poison and I can't begin to help him. He's lost a brother. Dealt with his beloved father being so sick and he's 14. I would come unglued. He's still fragile in the faith. And he's lashing out. But sometimes there are glimpses of what is to come. The veil pulled back and the blue eyes shine. There is humor and there is a sensitivity, so like his fathers. But this growing and stretching is hard on me. So when there is a calm. I embrace it. When ... View Post
When Each Step Taken, Is On Solid Ground
Easter. A day of great joy. Also my birthday. Another new path forged. Days I didn't want to walk through. Yet the beat of time relentless in its march. (Easter 2013) (Easter 2013) Then, the realization that your first born is residing in Glory on this Resurrection day. Oh the joy he experiences on a continual basis. We, a people, just trying to understand with limited minds. I made it through most of the service with out crying. It's the first service since Elijah met Jesus and Gary was diagnosed with cancer, that I haven't dissolved into a weeping ... View Post
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