I stood in the field and watched. Lanterns to remember. His classmates gathered together. Remembering. Prayers taking flight. Each lantern rose higher and higher. Lights dotting the already starlit night. I wanted to reach out and somewhere find him in the group. I longed to see him. Missing him deeply. Each lantern aglow, floating heavenward. Beauty. Peace. As I gazed around, I wondered, how many know that soul searching peace? Two men, sons taken before them. Stepping together through the fiercest of times. We ... View Post
How a Community Grieves; A Year Later
Another repost from the archives. These days are still so fresh as we journey forward. We have had many, many visitors this year to the farm. Friends I have not seen in years, bringing hugs and love. All trying to make some sense of this difficult time. It has been a year of grace and trusting through the storms. Our farmhouse doors will remain open. We will walk the journey in this life with bowed knee and eyes lifted to the heavens. Psalm 121:1-4 I lift up my eyes to the hills From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not ... View Post
The Anchor Holds
The day dawned. I stood on the porch; not wanting to be awake. Odd for me. The sun rose to meet me. Much like a year ago. The same sky. The same God. The world just a little older. The vastness of the Universe running through my mind. How Great is our God. Sing with me how great is our God. (Chris Tomlin How Great is our God It's not because of what He's done, but because of who He is. I can not fathom the why. I need to live in the, "what now". There is a life time of living still to be ... View Post
You Can Still Press On
When your parents dog, father's sister (your god mother), parents best friend and mother have all died within 10 days and the memory thief has knocked on your father's door. . . and he needs you to get through . . . you can still press on. When you beg God to take your mother because the ravages of cancer have left her lifeless and emaciated, he won't. . . .you can still press on. You can sit in your yard and hold your daughter's beloved dog that has just been hit by a car and beg for him to live, and he won't. He will die in your arms and you will not shed a ... View Post
His Chains Are Gone. . .. He’s Been Set Free
His chains are gone. He's been set free. All he knows is peace and more peace. It is we, who are left behind that need the prayers. We walk the hard road. We have walked the year to a different beat. Longing for a familiar cadence. Not to be. Walking the road of grief; blindsided by cancer. Uplifted by grace of a community. Reminders continually of the strength we need to persevere. The unthinkable has happened. It has been a year of firsts. A year with out my mom a year with out my ... View Post
Live In The Fullness
I fight through these days. The last he had here on this earth. I long for things to be different. Yet trying to step forward each day. Agony. The need to do what you do not want to do. Press on. Remember. Seek joy. Let go. Digging for the strength needed. Only the grace for the day. I settle into all that will never be. He will never be a United States Marine. He will never marry. Our family portraits will never be the same. I don't want to hear the words, "You're healing." Like I'm going to be new again? My son has been torn from me. I will NEVER be the ... View Post
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