Enter in. Enter into His gates with Thanksgiving in your heart. Enter in. In. "used to indicate location or position within something" A location. Enter in. The door is open. You need to walk through. Not when you're happy. Not when things are going swell. That's not what it says. Enter in. Just as you are. When you're hurting. When life is overwhelming. When your weary soul aches with breathing in and out. Enter in. My heart hurts. The burning sensation ... View Post
Too Many Spoons
I put one back. 7 spoons. It's a habit. How do you "uncount"? How do you break a habit. They say it takes 30 days to create a habit. It's been 14 months. And setting 7 places at the table still seems natural. I set one spoon back in the drawer. I breath deep. I think of the habits I have established over the past 14 months. My time in the Word is deep. I search for meaning. Truth. Help for this weary heart. I want to know. That it counts for something. That the life given. Taken. Somehow has meaning. It's our search for ... View Post
He Made Me Laugh
He made me laugh. That second born son. The one who shoulders the weight. The future. He made me laugh. He loves Christmas. Always has. Little sleep. So excited. A bundle of joy. Energy. Complying with my request, for a cup of coffee, before presents, on Christmas morning; he will have one waiting. . . long before it is time to be awake. Energy. Sheer joy. Over presents. Over a babe in a manger. Wonder. Contagious. And at 15 that joy is still there. I walk into the dining ... View Post
Can You Stop And Turn? Do You Have What It Takes?
It's the 28th. Sunday. 14 months. Months, days, weeks, moments of missing. Days of seeking who God is; who am I in Him. I wake again today to the fight to get up. My soul is heavy. I cry out to Jesus. I just want to burrow in. Sleep some more. My heart; Needs to change There was a double sleep over last night. Church to attend, a rehearsal for a performance. And it leaves me with tears pooling and a heart constricting. There is no milk. The keys to the van are missing. The other car ... View Post
Are You Living In This Very Moment?
This is not my home. No matter the beauty. This is not where we belong. My focus. has to change. Each morning. A shift. It's not about me. God's plan is better. The missing overwhelming. My son. I want him here. Why did God not stop the accident? Why did he not save him? Why was it fatal? I fold laundry. His clothes. Worn by others. I breathe deep. It would be so easy to give up. To just let the darkness consume. The pain. The ache. The work it takes. There is a hole; where he belongs. His ... View Post
Even A Year Later My Grip Remains Strong
A year later we still are haying. The fire on to take the chill off the morning air. The desire of my heart to yield to the heavenly father. The pain still real, the missing still great. Longing to find our way in this world. Wanting to make a difference. Wanting hope to permeate all we do. Thoughts scratched out in the wee hours of the morning. Still ring true a year later. Yet, this is before cancer knocked on our door. It is before I knew what was to be. . . It's Early Morning 9-20-13 I rise while it is still dark. Coffee is made. We are having pancakes for breakfast. I have turned the ... View Post
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