About 23 years ago I fell in love with my farmer. His banjo playing, quiet ways, love for God and deep voice, was enough to make this city girl take a look at all she had thought would make her soul sing.The glitz and glam, nice cars, dinners out, fancy diamond studded jewelry (just kidding -but my birthstone is a diamond -lucky me) soon faded to what was real and what really mattered in this world. A look deep into God's word and the Truth that rests there is what makes a girl really want to take notice. Wedding bells gave way to the rhythm of farming and teaching. The loss ... View Post
1 Bag, 2 bag, 3 bag, 4
A bag a day. Go me. I start out strong. 3 full size garbage bags. Off to Goodwill and a few second hand stores. Maybe I can earn a little something. I got this; It's easy peasy. Day 4. I move to a smaller bag. I still got this. I clean out drawers. I decide a bag of trash counts. I still have this. I move to a grocery bag size. But I still got this. I am in it for the long haul. I may have started out with gusto, but I am at my pace now. Even a grocery size bag is something. But something ... View Post
When The Snow Piles High And The Drifts Impassable
Pushing through the dark. Looking for the light. Holding tight the truth. Letting go the fear. Wondering how this new life works. Digging deep for strength. Resting in the One. Reaching for Hope. This journey continues to stretch me to the fullest. Each day, I seek to rest not in the what if's, but in the what I knows. When all is shaking around me, there is a calm. An assurance so sweet. The snow piles high and the drifts impassable. The wind howls. But yet the farmer presses on. The cows are milked. The rhythm of the day continues. It is that rhythm ... View Post
Just Because
It's still there. I breathe in deep. Just a hint of his smell. I hold his pillow. I lay my cheek on the softness. I rock back and forth. I linger in the memories. It's the missing that can consume. A desire around the pain. Any way but through. The wanting to hear his voice; call me mom. We sit at the dinner table. We light his candle. We just miss him so much. And at some point you have to just stop the missing. Because He's not coming back. All the uncomfortable shouts at us. Cedric balks at going to summer ... View Post
Dig Down Deep To Hope; Rise Up In Rest
I long to not cry in church. I yearn to be strong. Yet week after week I feel my resolve give way. We sing words. Ancient words. Words of Truth and Hope; Promise and life. While my spirit groans and aches. I sometimes close my eyes and tell myself, if I turn around he'll be there in the balcony. That red haired,crooked grin boy. Or if I try hard enough I will hear the beat of the drum. The Rhythm of the soul. Steady. Sometimes this world is just plain hard. It's not devoid of happiness and joy; it's just hard. This season of finding time to be ... View Post
Are You Able To Laugh At The Days To Come
Proverbs 31:25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. I want to laugh at the days to come. But I want to laugh at them with my boy. I long for strength and dignity. I want my world tipped back on it's right side. I long for depression to leave my farmer and the cancer to be gone. Do you have trouble? Aging parents in need of care? A job issue out of your control? A situation that you can't fix, or change; and it consumes you? You know you need to trust God; but it's so hard. It's your ... View Post
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