The water comes rushing out. I am soaked. An age old prank on April Fool's Day. An elastic on the spray hose at the sink. But I can't laugh. I am angry that I am wet. I am already cold. The heat not working in the house. So it plummets to 58. I have cooked breakfast, explained schedules and triaged ride situations. I've run a marathon before 8 and I haven't even taken a shower. And now I am wet. Soaking wet. And cold. And the venom spews. The sweet 8 year old just trying to have a laugh. Really a harmless prank. But I ... View Post
Where Do You Go When You Can’t Leave?
The wind howls. It's vet check. Robinson's come to fill the tenant house with fuel.. This winter won't quit. Separating cows to be dried off seems like such an ominous task when the wind steals your breath and your fingers feel numb. . . at the end of March. How do you maintain any kind of a positive attitude when the sun doesn't shine and the icy gusts chill to the bone? Many leave. They leave Vermont for warmer weather. They head out on vacation. If our hired help situation was different, we too would join the throngs headed to a tropical ... View Post
Unexpected Quiet; Seeking Lessons in Lent
I hear the quiet. It is not a familiar sound. I fight to fill the void. This old farmhouse echoes with laughter and "busyness" most of the time. But for the moment it is quiet. The laundry, dishes, bills and getting ready for church vie for first place. The farmer rests. His evening sleep often interrupted by the demon of worry and anxiousness spinning tales while his body seeks rest. Even when you know where you are going; worry can still get you. John 14:2-3 In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And ... View Post
A Primrose And Rain
A primrose. I bought it the other day. Something about the "living" yellow flower drew me. Because this is my reality at the end of March. I don't know how long I will be able to keep it alive. I water it and move it from sunbeam to sunbeam; when there is one. Today though, there is only the sound of drip, drip. The sound should fill me with glee! It has warmed up enough to rain. Instead I am filled with dread. The basement will flood. What is it like at the barn? What will the river do? This. will. not. be. ... View Post
Celebrating Advent During Lent
The water pours in the end of the freestall barn. The beds are soaked. Not one cow will want those stalls. They will become like concrete. The fuel runs out in the tenants house. A mistake made. The feed is poor quality so the cows are dropping in milk. The bills remain the same. On top of that it snowed and the sun never showed it's face. Really there is no relief in sight; another storm predicted for this weekend. It's almost April. And I wonder why the farmer is depressed? I can feel it deep down. I am going to ... View Post
A Beautiful Place To Be
It washes over me like a wave. He's gone. I have to take the older kids to the doctor for their sports physicals. We're in the car. A familiar song comes on. They turn up the volume. We rock to the music and sing. My heart constricts. He loved this song. He loved music. We listened to so much music.He made music. And now; He's gone. My flesh and blood. The magnitude of the loss is crushing. How can we do this? How does the scheme of the family go? Who is first born? No one seems to know. My ... View Post
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