When your son's friend stops over for a visit, it may leave you undone. It might also make your heart swell with remembering. The Thursday before Mother's Day he comes to the door. I didn't know he was in town and he stopped over. My mama's heart weeps. I weep that both his mama and our oldest farm boy call heaven their home. Both missed so deeply. Both gone way too soon. There was much for them both to do and say. Now. They know what we only see dimly. I Corinthians 13:12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I ... View Post
Small Town Living – Community
Small town living. Community. A fun reminder today of the uniqueness of this place we call home. The sun shone brightly. The temperatures tipped the scale at 34! The wind ceased it's assault and for moments it felt warm. I hung my sheets to dry. The change isn't here yet. But soon. Very soon the wind will shift and bring the warmer air. Some brave birds have taken up their chorus of welcome I head to the local market. Still fairly new, I marvel at how quickly I can get there. I drop the farm girls off at the Middle School, and head over to the store. I think of the years this ... View Post
And. . . It’s 2018! A New Year!
It's 2018. A New Year. The icy blast has left temperature in the New Year below zero. So far below, in fact, our vehicles would not start. My farmer left chores to come down and get both the college girls car and my van started. There is work and school to go to. But it is cold. Stepping into a New Year is still so difficult. We move further and further away from the life with our son. It is heart wrenching, yet I am powerless to stop the New Year from coming. Do I really want to? 2018 promises to be full of new beginnings. Our farm boy will graduate from Boot Camp from Parris ... View Post
It’s Christmas
It's quiet. There is a noticeable hush over the farmhouse. Morning milking is still in progress. Such a slow process. The cows are dirty and wet from being outside. My farmer works so hard. This added burden- hard. The Christmas mornings of glee and boundless energy. . . gone. All but memories now. Instead, there is a comfortable quiet. Deep remembering. Much joy. It's still a different kind of Christmas. But that's ok. Heaven came down and touched earth. The greatest gift ever given. Today we rejoice in that gift. We receive; that which we do not deserve. Merry Christmas ... View Post
When it Hurts so Badly
The light permeates the dark. The glow magical. The stockings are hung. The tree decorated. Lists are made. We've gathered with friends and caught up on life. The Christmas Carols play in the back round. Christmas Cards line the walls. The Advent Candles are lit and the preparations for the Birth of our Savior are well under way. Yet, here I sit. My heart aching. I can't deny it. I can't run from it. The ache and pain of loss is real. There's no escaping the absence and emptiness felt. The loss of a child represents loss of future. We spend the rest of our lives adjusting ... View Post
They’re Both Gone
Both of my boys are gone. Both left the same way. The clothes on their backs, their wallets and a hug for their mama. So much the same. Yet different. That oldest farm boy, a Poole in the delayed entry program for the Marines, never came back. He hugged me good bye. His gaze lingered with mine, and out the door he went. He never came home. His bed empty. Clothes on the floor just as he left them. Gone. Forever. Leaving me with an ache that still cuts like a knife. Now the second born farm boy. He leaves too. Clothes on the floor, just as he left them. The feeling so ... View Post
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