It's quiet. There is a noticeable hush over the farmhouse. Morning milking is still in progress. Such a slow process. The cows are dirty and wet from being outside. My farmer works so hard. This added burden- hard. The Christmas mornings of glee and boundless energy. . . gone. All but memories now. Instead, there is a comfortable quiet. Deep remembering. Much joy. It's still a different kind of Christmas. But that's ok. Heaven came down and touched earth. The greatest gift ever given. Today we rejoice in that gift. We receive; that which we do not deserve. Merry Christmas ... View Post
It’s A Different Kind of Christmas
This will be the fifth Christmas without our oldest farm boy. It hardly seems possible. Our next farm boy won't be here either. It's a different kind of Christmas. I often wonder how he's doing. How Marine Boot Camp is treating him? What is he feeling and thinking? I wonder this too about our blue eyed, red head who resides in Heaven now. The missing is hard. That Farm Boy loves Christmas. He often will decorate his room in July and play Christmas music as loud as he can. Even before he left, he cleaned his room and strung Christmas lights. It will be a different kind of ... View Post
They’re Both Gone
Both of my boys are gone. Both left the same way. The clothes on their backs, their wallets and a hug for their mama. So much the same. Yet different. That oldest farm boy, a Poole in the delayed entry program for the Marines, never came back. He hugged me good bye. His gaze lingered with mine, and out the door he went. He never came home. His bed empty. Clothes on the floor just as he left them. Gone. Forever. Leaving me with an ache that still cuts like a knife. Now the second born farm boy. He leaves too. Clothes on the floor, just as he left them. The feeling so ... View Post
The Holiest of Nights . . I Gave Birth
Her blue eyes twinkle. Her laugh contagious. She was born on the Holiest of nights. Her time within my womb one of my sweetest memories. A surprise. In the midst of grief. A reminder to pause and be grateful. Slow it down. Pause and wonder at it all. How did Mary feel? How did she travel those roads? I reveled in modern comforts and ease. She came on the Holiest of Nights. After the stockings were hung. After I had called it a day. Her arrival announced. A disruption around us. The first child born with out my beautiful mother in law. She came forth and we named her ... View Post
I sit, in the Midst of the Chaos
The towel is over my shoulder. Waffles are warming in the oven. The farmhouse kitchen is a wreck. So is every other room in this old Farmhouse. The floors, table, ottoman. Cluttered. Papers, socks. . . the vacuum. A trail of the day metered out as if to find the way. 'The way where," I ask? Where are we going? Where are we headed? I sit. In the midst of the chaos. In the midst of a mile long list. I sit. The youngest farm girl switched Pandora to a Classical Christmas Station. The usual Christmas music changed up a bit. Not familiar. Different. Beautiful. So, I ... View Post
Finding Strength in Those Memories
When I close my eyes; memories swirl. So much delight. Joy; In the midst of work. I rest in those times. Moments that have made me who I am. Moments that have shaped my faith and choices in this journey. Today marks the 15th Anniversary since my mother in laws passing. A night etched in my memory. So sudden. My absolute best friend, role model, encourager and nurturer. She was the glue that held so many of us together. How I still long to hear her voice. Ask her advice. Sit at her farmhouse table drinking hot coffee, while wrestling with life questions. Her strength spurs me ... View Post
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