I stand still in the kitchen. I have cried out to God most of the day. I am tired of cancer. I am tired of missing my son. My soul is unsettled and I long for peace. So I stand. In the kitchen that I hardly use any more. Meals continue to come. I have little to offer. My soul weary from the battle. So I stand. It is quiet. I breathe deep. I sense the presence of God. The peace that passes all understanding surrounds me. For a moment the cancer is gone, the sting of death is appeased. I stand for a moment ... View Post
It Is What Is Unseen, That Makes You Stronger
It is still dark. The rhythm of the day beginning. The sound of the washer and dryer. The beat of the pressing. Dishes, book work, school. Chores. Cold. The milk pump has been running for hours. Soon to have completed it's cycle. The feeding begun. Calves fed. My farmer begins the last full week of radiation. The routine to change; again. This is a change we will embrace. One we will anticipate. But yet, there is still the waiting. The waiting for the toxic cocktails and radiation to complete their work. Long after the ... View Post
When You’re Prayers Aren’t Answered. . .And Life Has Taken A Sharp Turn
The intent was for summers warmth to dissipate winters cruel blow. For the prayers on the bales to be seen when the sun has hidden itself for days on end. When the dark of the day is the longest and encouragement in short supply. I prayed over everyone of those bales. Every single one. I wrote my prayers out. I prayed for relief from the financial strain and plentiful nutrients in those bales. I prayed for protection for my family. For strength in the journey. But my prayers weren't answered. Sometimes they aren't. As a matter of fact my prayers were ... View Post
What I Learned From The Movie, Frozen
It happens later. After I have watched the film After I have been home; had a night's rest. While the farm house is still quiet. I ponder the movie. I always do. What themes are there? How could this be used in a classroom? What can we learn from this film? It's probably why I rarely go to the movies. This strikes me as I get my coffee. Fear. (I promise I won't spoil the movie) It's fear that drives her away. Fear of what she possesses and what will happen. Fear of the gift she possesses paralyzes her. It is what ... View Post
Even Before The Day Dawns. . . Much Work Has Been Done
Even before the day dawns much has been done. The farmer rises at 3 even through chemo and radiation. The cows need to be brought in, milking machines set up and milking started. Most of this happens while the rest of the world slumbers. Including me. It is not until 5 that I crawl out of bed. These cold mornings it is more of a leap. I grab coffee and the Word to begin my day. Always coffee. Always God's word. 15 years ago, when I was in the thick of working and book work for the farm; an 11 year old step daughter, 2 children and one on the way, I prayed. I asked God to help me find ... View Post
The Question I Don’t Want To Answer
I know the question is coming. It always does. It is how we converse. But it is the question I don't know how to answer. One I don't want to answer. I meet a new friend. Our daughters standing next to each other in the concert. While we sit next to each other. Since we have been homeschooling, there are a fair amount of students and families we do not know anymore. How many children do you have? I pause. I don't know how to answer this question. Sometimes I just say 6; the oldest is married and we just had a grand baby. And the conversation moves on; because babies are cute and ... View Post
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