Dwelling In Beulah Land Let the stormy breezes blow, their cry cannot alarm me; I am safely sheltered here, protected by God's hand: Here the sun is always shining, here there's naught can harm me, I am safe forever In Beulah Land. The strains of the third verse echo in this beautiful church. The words wash over me. He is safely sheltered here. . . protected by God's hand. The sun is always shining. . . naught can harm him. He's dwelling in Beulah Land. Elijah is safe from harm. My boy; naught ... View Post
Delight In His Sabbath
Isaiah 41:10 Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Words I cling to. Hope I claim. It is Sunday morning again. A morning for me that will always remain hard. The conflict of loss; the gift of the Sabbath. Yet isn't the gift of Sabbath because of death? One for all. So there might be life? Everlasting? He gave all so we could all have. The goal of Sabbath; rest. Leaning into Christ and the promise He gave with His ... View Post
When You’re Behind Before The Day Has Even Started
The dishwasher hums because I forgot to start it last night. The washing machine whirls because for some reason it stopped full of water. Sometimes our water pressure isn't strong enough and it will stop mid cycle. So I start the dishwasher, get the washing machine going. And I already feel behind. There is laundry and a bag to fill. There is quiet to find and bills to pay; children to teach, a farmer to love. We all have the pull of the urgent. The feeling of being behind. We are defeated before we even start. Steven Curtis Chapman's ... View Post
An Unwanted Visitor Is Trying To Call Again; Depression Is Not a Welcomed Guest
It is one of those days where the gloom threatens to spill over. As I opened my eyes the weight descended. The life without Elijah. Missing his presence in our lives. These days will come. The missing overpowering. The weight of the days necessity looming. I will not give in. Gary speaks of depression. It's been almost 18 years since we walked that weary road. A depression brought on by Elijah's birth and the switch from milking in a tie stall; to over night change to a milking parlor. Now brought on by Elijah's ... View Post
Even Before The Day Dawns. . . Much Work Has Been Done
Even before the day dawns much has been done. The farmer rises at 3 even through chemo and radiation. The cows need to be brought in, milking machines set up and milking started. Most of this happens while the rest of the world slumbers. Including me. It is not until 5 that I crawl out of bed. These cold mornings it is more of a leap. I grab coffee and the Word to begin my day. Always coffee. Always God's word. 15 years ago, when I was in the thick of working and book work for the farm; an 11 year old step daughter, 2 children and one on the way, I prayed. I asked God to help me find ... View Post
Finding Joy And Grace For This Very Moment
Before I even open my eyes, I feel it. I have a headache and the missing is there. Some days it is not so apparent. But today it will be my constant companion. The deep longing. I want to wriggle out of this skin. I want all that has been lost to be restored. But it can't. The weight of the loss and what the future will hold threatens to pull me down. The hot burning has returned. I make coffee and look at the piles of laundry and book work still needing attention. The floors that need to be mopped, the ... View Post
