Right from the beginning. The separation starts. The umbilical cord; cut. Beautiful and tragic all in the same moment. Letting go. Forced. Birth. A process. A cathartic event. Bringing life. Yet the beginning of the journey home. Pulling. Tugging. Letting go. Life brought forth. Constant letting go. Weaning. Walking. And then a run. A run through Elementary, Middle and then High School. Letting go. Until you find yourself in the audience at Commencement. You wonder where the time has gone? How have you arrived at this place? Letting go. College. Here she is. My ... View Post
50 Years
It's been 50 years since this couple said I do. They are celebrating today, in heaven. Together. We miss them. My brothers and I. My sisters in law too. Their friends. Both gone too soon. Today. I choose to remember. The good. It could be bad. And it was definitely bad at times. Somehow. It always turned around. Wrongs; forgiven. Or forgotten. Tempers that would flare; pacified. A deep sense of commitment that transcended emotions or feelings. The commitment that walked through cancer and the memory thief. A love that digs deep and presses on. It ... View Post
Losing Heart
Frankly I had lost heart. She was not accepted into the Nursing Program. This college girl of mine. There was no room. They were not taking transfer students. She had spoken to board members. Sent in her application. Still. The answer was no. And no matter how hard I tried; tried to understand that this was not God's will for her- there was something else planned- I lost heart. I was discouraged. My heart hurt for my girl. She's worked hard. Things don't come easy to our family. And this constant barrage of deaths and rough times, had left me discouraged and ... View Post
She’s Nineteen Today
There were 10 at the table. Not really planned. Evolved. And I was so content. Laughter. So many talking at once. Full. You see. Sometimes hard things come so fast and furious. Stepping into joy becomes work. You expect heartache. You expect things to not go right. So when joy shows up at the farmhouse table it catches me by surprise. We were celebrating the college girl a day early. Celebrating life. The day she entered this world. I marvel at this young woman. Courageous and strong. Willing to take risks. Beautiful. Fun. She loves fiercely. Things ... View Post
Saying, “Yes”, When You Want to Scream, “No”
Elijah. They say his name. Cleaning out a closet they find something that was his. Elijah. I just want to hear his name called. I miss saying it. You see when your son is taken. Things change. So when they mention his name. My heart skips a beat. 17 years of memories. His future just beginning. Hope. I long for that which I can not have. We're going to the drive in. A place I have avoided. A place I have tried to find excuses not to go. So far. It's ... View Post
Step into His Grace
I am a mama who lost her mama. Nine years of cancer. The final stages. Brutal. You say death with dignity? Yes. My mama endured pain; with grace. She clung to her Jesus. Knowing He knew her name. Knowing He would call her name when time. We; her children; grew strong. We cared for this mama of ours. We guided our dad as the memory thief silently crept in. We watched our mama as her systems shut down. We watched her stand in the Powerful name of Jesus, with arms lifted high at her grandchild's baptism. We ... View Post
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