Losing Heart

Frankly I had lost heart.
She was not accepted into the Nursing Program.
This college girl of mine.

There was no room.
They were not taking transfer students.
She had spoken to board members.
Sent in her application.
Still.
The answer was no.
And no matter how hard I tried;
tried to understand that this was not God’s will for her-
there was something else planned-
I lost heart.
I was discouraged.
My heart hurt for my girl.
She’s worked hard.
Things don’t come easy to our family.
And this constant barrage of deaths and rough times,
had left me discouraged and weary.

Watching my college girl struggle caused me to ache.
I longed for these years to be care free and fun.
College.

But no.
The year has been riddled with the death of my father,
the “no” response to my
college girls application for transfer of major to Nursing. 

The slope slippery.
Heartache.
Frustration.

I took my cares to the only place I know.
But I felt like they were falling on deaf ears.
Maybe I had unconfessed sin?
Had I strayed so far, that God had turned his back on me?
Maybe my walk on this earth will only be heartache and “no” answers.
That is His will.
I need to remain faithful.

This college girl became willing to change schools to accomplish her life’s passion.
She became willing to surrender, her desires,  in obedience.

In Acts 27, Paul is in a terrible storm.
“Then Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers,
“Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved.
So the soldiers cut the ropes that held the lifeboat and let it drift away.”

They needed to cut loose the very thing they thought would save them. 

My college girl journeyed to this point.
We began looking at other schools and potentially not return to QU-
even though she loved this school;
loved her room mates.

One traveled with her to Haiti on the Missions Trip.

They all have plans to live together in the fall adding 4 more for a total of 8.
She was willing to leave this all behind.
Walking in faith.
Stepping into an unknown future with a known God. 

So, when the college girl texts me a screen shot of an email; asking if this is a joke.
I stand in the Hannaford’s grocery store amazed.
Tears flow freely.
Grace.
I try to hide.
(a little difficult in such a public place)

Our prayers were answered.
Not in our time frame.
Not according to our plan.

The e-mail was an acceptance letter from the the Quinnipiac Nursing Department congratulating my college girl on her admittance into the Nursing program.

A space had become available and because of her grades and hard work they were offering her admittance.

Where there seemed no way.
A way was made. 
When she was willing to surrender the very thing she wanted,
God worked in a way we could not see. 

Not all situations work out.
This didn’t happen because we had enough faith.
This happened because we surrendered to what God wanted.

Our heart needs to be yielded in a  mighty way.
Sometimes our answer will be yes and sometimes no.
And sometimes. . . wait.

It’s the waiting that’s hard.
It is when the most work is done.

Seek that which is Holy.

Choose the better way.
Work is being accomplished that we can’t see.
Yield today my friends.

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.