So much of my daily journey takes me back to last year. How I felt. So much I do not remember. So much is still stuck vividly in my mind. This post echoes the cry of my heart. This week I have felt weary and worn. But we are holding on. Clinging to the rock that is higher than I. Dear God, I find myself in a deep place today. My first thoughts are usually to bring praise and Glory to your name. It is the habit established for more than 20 years now. My first thoughts when my eyes flutter open are to praise you. . .no matter how I feel. Today. . .I opened my eyes and ... View Post
Turning Monday Around
I start complaining before I open my eyes. The birds are so loud. My shoulder hurts. It's burning. I need Advil. I need coffee. I need the Ancient Word. But that means I have to get up. I am so bone weary tired. I need coffee; (I think I have already mentioned that) which I didn't prepare like I usually do. Because I was so tired. I just want to sleep in; have no agenda for the day. No cows, calves to feed, milking, haying, laundry, book work, rides, school, schedules. I roll over. I usually wake ... View Post
When You Run On Empty, You Can Ooze All Over. . .
The kitchen is a mess. We have a house guest coming for 3 weeks. There is no safe way up the stairs and through the hallway with out a navigation system. The lawn needs mowing and I haven't taken time for my heart to be still. You would think after all these years I wouldn't get off track. But I have. Mother's Day, cooking, cleaning, church, games. All important things. But not the things that should matter. Finding that still, quiet time to pour over the Ancient Word is so crucial to my being. And I have filled the space with other ... View Post
When Mother’s Day Isn’t About Getting What You Want
I say good night to the kids. The farm house is quieting down. I pause, in the doorway to his room, as I do each evening before I head down the stairs. I can't stay for long because the feeling is so overwhelming. I think over the day. Mother's Day; it was so beautiful. We cooked on the grill and ate outside. We talked and felt the warmth of the sun on our faces. It felt good to just enjoy the creation around us. I turn and head down the stairs. The day was not what I expected. At some point I was told I needed to be ready ... View Post
He Will Renew Our Strength
A wife loses her husband and 2 children in a tornado. Just like that. 3 members of their family gone. How does a mom grieve for 2 children and her husband? Her soul-mate. I am familiar with the loss of a child. I know the searing pain. The overwhelming grief. I know the knee bruising prayer of pleas to spare my husbands life. To lose them all at once? My heart snaps. There is so much pain. I read the comments one of the daughter places on Facebook. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of ... View Post
When Trusting Comes Hard
I have a confession to make. I don't trust Him enough. At all. I get a call from a friend. She says I am not trying to be a nosy neighbor but I wanted you to know your tractor and manure spreader were stopped by the police. I start to shake. I tell her thank you. I can't stop shaking. I call Gary. I hang up the phone. I sit at the desk and shake. The tank could have flipped. My mind races. I relive the accident night over again. I hear God's voice. Do you trust me enough? My shaky voice answers, No. I don't ... View Post
