How would she have known- that mom at the store? How would she have known that her red headed boy pushing that cart reminded me of my own. Memories of grocery shopping trips flood my mind. The time I knocked over a whole display of Queso? What's up with those flimsy, cardboard displays anyway? How can you maneuver 5 kids, a cart and myself through the store, around those displays? I think of the time I almost left the cart and took the kids out. . . Oh, wait, I did do that. Left the whole cart and apologized to the cashier. I loaded those kids into the car and sat behind the steering ... View Post
Winter Storm
The wind whipped, snow swirled. A real snow storm. Winter Storm. We stoked the outdoor fires and turned on the indoor soapstone. So grateful for home during a storm. Soup simmered on the stove. Banana bread baked. Anything to try to keep this old farmhouse warm. I sat in the dark and quiet. I listened to the sounds of the winter storm. The rattling windows, the wind in the trees, the plow making its rounds. The cows will stay in tonight and my farmer will wake in the night to check on everyone. He'll make sure the fires are hot and then, only then will he crawl back ... View Post
Farmhouse Musings
Soup simmers on the stove. The weather is mild. No sunshine. But no chilling wind either. I hang the sheets in hopes they will dry. A friends daughter was here so I could help her with her school work The table is littered with tax work and book work. There is laundry to fold. And I want to hold tightly to these moments. I want to slow down. I want to sit with the here and now. I want to count every moment holy. I want to be content in all things. Content with the messy table and dishes still to wash. Not wanting something else, not longing for something that is not mine to ... View Post
This Cute Little Bear
This cute little bear showed up on our doorstep on Christmas Eve. A week after my farmers mom met Jesus. Each one of the siblings received the same gift. A bear. The perfect reminder of a wonderful woman. Teddy Bears lined her stairway. They nestled in nooks and crannies in her old farmhouse. They adorned coffee mugs. Mugs filled with steaming coffee as we sat around her farmhouse table. A teddy bear room decorated to appeal to every youngster to enter the room. And so this cute little bear resides in the parlor that was once hers. 6 of her grandchildren and countless ... View Post
It’s Been Another Year
It's been another year. I can't believe it. 8 years. Where has the time gone? I saw a purple Nutcracker in the store the other day. I laughed. I would have bought it for you. You would have loved it. I can hear your laughter; even now. You made Christmas so magical mom. I've sat many nights in my parlor remembering our Christmas's on Putnam Street and then in your log cabin. Our tree resembles nothing of those tinsel, garland covered giants growing up. I loved coming downstairs and smelling the piney scent. I loved the stillness and glow of the colored lights. I will ... View Post
Sometimes the Naming is Hard, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 28
Sometimes the Naming is hard. 7 years and 4 months without our son, sometimes makes the naming hard. It still catches me off guard. The grief. The ache. The longing. A reordering of how life should be. There's room where there should not be. And the Naming of that for which I am grateful is work. Practice. A soul work. Because when the words do not flow and the heart hurts the desire to focus inward often trumps all else. I sit with the ache for a few days. It's Thanksgiving and there is food to make and pies to bake. And my heart just longs for a glimpse of my red headed ... View Post
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