Just for a moment I am alone. I play one of my favorite cd's. It is quiet. And just for a moment I let my self remember. For a moment I am a mom of 6 again. Just for a moment. I let the tears fall as the quiet permeates my soul. These days have been so full. Teens laughing and filling our farmhouse table as our German daughter prepares to head back to her home country. College students home and visiting and it's been wonderful. But just for a moment they're all out. I cry the tears that have been on the surface for weeks. They fall Hot. Wet. This ebbing forward of ... View Post
Happy Birthday! And Just Like That, She’s 16!
Happy Birthday, dancer girl!!!And just like that, she's 16. I am not sure where the time went or how we got here. But here we are. Our beautiful Christmas baby. Born when things were different. When death and cancer had not knocked on our door. A time when I spent waiting. Breathing in deep promises of what was to come. Moments of sitting and pondering. Heavy with child. The holiness of the season. Anticipation. Reflection. I resonated with these words Mary proclaimed. Luke 1:46 And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, What ... View Post
Even If. . . .
Even if. . . Those words. It's how she strings them together with other words that pierces my heart. Even if, the answer isn't what I long for. Even if. . . I know the even if. . . Even if my son is killed in the middle of the night on a lonely, dark road. . . Even if my farmer gets cancer. . . Even if our barns blow down. . . Even if. . . God is still good. Do you know the Even if. . . too? Does your heart long for that which it may never have? Are there the cries of your heart that remain unanswered. Even if. . . can you still praise him? Even if. . . can you still ... View Post
Snow, Day #28 of Thankfulness
The branches are heavy laden. Snow fell most of the day. After school activities were cancelled. It was a virtual Winter Wonderland. With snow comes an added burden of work. Paths and driveways need to be plowed and shoveled. The weight of the snow can be treacherous to this old farm house. 3 times the house shook as the snow fell off the peaks onto the porch roof. The final blow cracking a main supporting beam that was already compromised. My farmer spent the rest of the afternoon shoveling snow off the roof and placing braces. He was late getting in again. . . Sometimes I ... View Post
Papa Projects, Day #25 of Thankfulness
Papa projects. They're the best kind. She comes to him needing batteries. The youngest farmette. The Christmas bears won't sing. With good reason. I've had them for over 20 years. They're singing careers over. Not that I've minded. The 12 Days of Christmas on repeat certainly tried my patience. Each child sat with those bears and held them and played with them. Now the youngest farmette has discovered them and wants Papa to make them work. He finds new batteries and. . . nothing. They still wouldn't work. Much to my relief, I walk away thinking the bears will go back to the ... View Post
Gratitude, Day #23 of Thankfulness
Gratitude Family gathered All together Missing one Forever remembering New memories made A sweet contentment Despite the ache Pushing through with gratitude Little voices Giggles Snuggles with Aunties Laughter with Papa Deep gratitude for what God has given Platters of food Thanks given Gathered round Farm house table Much chatter Request for pie hot coffee Deep gratitude Time for rest Flickering fire Holiday movie Glowing candles Dazzling Moon light More snuggles Frost on window panes Peace Quiet Thanksgiving ... View Post
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