Because He Lives. . I can hear her singing now. I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, All fear is gone. I know the words by heart. She often sang it as cancer's clutches tightened their grip. Because I know who holds the future, And life is worth the living Just because He lives. My mom loved music. She loved all kinds of music. I grew up listening to albums of the Beach Boys, Rhapsody in Blue, The Kingston Trio and even the Smothers Brothers. There was always music coming from that stereo in the ... View Post
When Yesterday Is 7 Months Gone
Dear Elijah, It's been more than half a year since your feet have walked this earth; since time stood still and my heart broke in two. I can't believe that much time has passed. It feels like yesterday. 7 months of not my will, but thine. 7 months of learning to live a path I didn't ask for; death, cancer, treatments, grace. We all miss you a ton. Each day dawns with thoughts of you and remembering you're not with us. We all feel so incomplete without you here. It's hard to figure out how to do this walk. I miss your smile and the sound of your voice. I miss being your mom. I miss ... View Post
All Clutter Is Not Equal
My brother and his wife are coming for a visit. Now I have known they were coming. But it's not until the last minute that I decide to clean and make a plan. We are celebrating Christmas. I still haven't wrapped the presents. It's almost March. I have wrapped some; but the rest still lie buried under piles of stuff in my room. What makes us all so different? How do some have such ordered and clean homes? Everything is fixed and nice and neat. Everything in its place. ( My college room mate Carol, would continually ... View Post
The Joy Thief
The day dawns and the clutches of the joy thief grasp tighter. Basic decision making becomes a monumental task. The world pales and darkness threatens to consume. Severe flooding, long hours, financial instability, the death of your son and cancer chase you to the brink. But even in that you do not fall. You call it by it's name. Out loud. Depression. The joy thief. A real and frightening path. Many lose their way walking through the darkness of depression. But you name the demon. And you call the doctor. You will climb the ... View Post
An Unwanted Visitor Is Trying To Call Again; Depression Is Not a Welcomed Guest
It is one of those days where the gloom threatens to spill over. As I opened my eyes the weight descended. The life without Elijah. Missing his presence in our lives. These days will come. The missing overpowering. The weight of the days necessity looming. I will not give in. Gary speaks of depression. It's been almost 18 years since we walked that weary road. A depression brought on by Elijah's birth and the switch from milking in a tie stall; to over night change to a milking parlor. Now brought on by Elijah's ... View Post
