Reconstructing. Each day. How to do dinner. What the table looks like. His car in the driveway. All how to live without my son. Each day.Learning. The path. God has ordained. Not my will. But His. And so I learn. While my heart misses. I open my heart to the will of the Father. A young teen plays Elijah's drum set at church. A young man unaware of the story. Playing to Worship. The same God. All for His Glory. So I learn, to trust more. Rest where there is chaos. Quiet when ... View Post
Living Life
A busy day. Nothing new; except the feeling. All day. Something. Not right. The Cast Party. Families. Dancers. Food. Decorating. Arabian Nights. Alladin. So much to do. Purposefully stepping one foot in front of the other. Work. Grief. Talk truth. Verse after verse. To my weary heart. Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. It ... View Post
More Waiting
She too waits. This sister in law of mine. Sister of my farmer. Who walks the road of grief. It's been six months since she stood at the grave. She waits now for biopsy results. Abnormal normal cells; growth on her thyroid. We are guaranteed nothing in this world. Only God's love. It's the constant. It's truth. There is cancer. In her thyroid. And it feels for a moment that the earth has shifted. Tilted. She tells me a funny joke before she tells me the results of the tests. Much like ... View Post
The Grave Could NOT Hold Him
Reposting, because I am remembering. Easter has always been about the Cross. Easter has always been what we need. Even when we don't understand. The antidote to what ails us. Always. He is risen! Just like he said. His word; Truth. He is risen. He is coming back again. All of creation will bow. While we wait. We seek to live as He did. We bend knees to the ground in humble submission, as we ponder the walk to the cross. And as the day dawns we live in hope. Matthew ... View Post
New Life
I hold her baby. A beautiful bundle of sweetness. I look at this girl. This beautiful mom. I think how blessed I am. I am the step mom. A woman she did not ask for in her life. Circumstances beyond her control. Yet, she has opened her heart and let me in. She has shared so much of who she is with me. She's daddy's girl you know. And another stole her heart. And now I hold her second born. I want to weep. I want to weep for my boy. I want to weep for all ... View Post
Those Dark Days; They Will Come
The dark of the day rises to meet me. The warmth of the previous days a tease. My son, my son, my soul cries out. I pass the accident site. Today. I slip. The images flash before me. Images I never saw. Images that played out while I slept. My darling red head. My first born son. Passed from this life while I slept. Oh, how I miss him. The deep, piercing ache creeps through my veins today. The wait for next tests for my farmer. I cling to the Ancient promises. The truth. This ... View Post
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