She contacts me on face book. She found a recording of his voice from a history project. She laughed and cried when she heard it. She wondered if I would like her to send it to me. I breathe deep. Another recording of his voice. Another piece. Yes. Yes, I would love another opportunity to hear his voice. To listen to my sweet, sweet son. I play the recording. The deep places of my mommy's heart ache. Oh how I miss him. He was so articulate. Always. His first word ex-ca-va- ... View Post
Through the Ages Day #7 of Thankfulness
It's my friends birthday today. One I see about twice a year. Lately one of those times each year has been a wake or funeral. She came to our wedding. She came to Elijah's funeral. I have known her since I was three. There were three of us. Always together. She is so faithful in writing and sending cards. My dad nick named her when we were little. He loved her curls and quiet ways. So different from his little girl. We used to play every day as kids. We celebrated birthdays each year. She ... View Post
Babies, Snuggles, Diapers. . . Oh My! Day #4 of Thankfulness
I start the day with coffee and a scone with a friend. She insists on treating me to my favorite latte. It's so nice to be out and visiting. I return home to a note from a sweet mama that she is in the area. She and her new baby and would love to stop by. Snuggles and visiting. A perfect combination. Later after a silly fb conversation I receive another note from a mama of three under three. She and another seasoned mama come for shortbread and coffee. The day has flown by. And there is contentment in my heart. There ... View Post
I Say In A Whisper, I’ll See You Soon, Because It’s Not Really Good Bye
See you soon I say as I walk out the room. Tears stream down my face. I stifle the sobs that want to come. The ache so heavy. Another I love, so dearly, departing this life. Powerless to stop. Cancer rearing it's ugly head. This beautiful family. Servants of our Lord and Savior. So much living still to come. All, she will never see. Grand babies growing. The youngest son unmarried. I receive the text that heaven opened it's doors to this beautiful soul. Her residence now eternal. I think on all the ... View Post
Today. Today They Go
They are leaving their own problems behind. Breakdowns, financial woes, planting, harvesting and milking. Leaving it behind for 10 days. These farmers are stepping away from the land they love, to go. Many of them needing much help. Have much to do. Pressing deadlines. But in the middle of a cold and snowy winter, they are boarding planes. From Iowa, from Vermont; they are going. They have felt the call; the nudge to do more. To be a people that says, "yes". They will build in the sod of this earth, with ... View Post
As Time Passes
It's been weeks since I've gone into his room. A hiatus from the reminders. Dust collects as time passes. Things undisturbed. Much the same way since the night he was called home. His room still smells like him. I close my eyes to remember. I miss him so. How does a life continue when your child, your hope and future are torn from you? How do the steps move with the ebb and flow when there is a deep chasm in your aching soul. Elijah was God's child. He was never mine to keep. Children are a gift from the ... View Post
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