There is work. Then there is the real stuff. The soul work. The stuff no one wants to dig into. I've been feeling crabby most of the week. I'm not sure why. My kids have been great. My farmer is wonderful. We've been playing Christmas music as the first snow fell. So, there's no reason to be crabby. Yet I could still feel the sharp edge to my words. The lack of patience with requests. Frustration with book work not completed. Feeling the tension between being ok with being distracted and the need to feel organized. The real work we need to do is hard. It's stopping in those ... View Post
Distracted, Distraction, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 4
Distraction a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. Distracted unable to concentrate because one's mind is preoccupied. Can you relate? Distracted, distraction. I feel like I'm distracted from my distraction sometimes. My kids are always telling me, "Mom, listen to me." "Look at me." And most of the time I feel like I'm trying so hard to focus on any one thing. I make lists, only to never complete them; Or lose them. Lists reminding me of how distracted I became. Off task. Unaccomplished. Distracted My home; a hodge podge of unfinished ... View Post
The Sound of Change, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 2
I hear them before I see them. The sound of change. Cattle trucks. The rumble. One. Two. Three. Four. A farmer up the road is selling one of his herds of cows. One of the three surviving dairy farms on our road. Now two. A sob catches in my throat. We were that farm last Spring. We tried to sell. But the market was so bad, we couldn't get out. I call my farmer. I ask if he saw the trailers. He softly says yes. It is hard to be in an industry that you watch slowly die. It's painful. All those cows. Generations of working the land. Hauling rocks, smoothing out space for hay ... View Post
Soul Amnesia, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 1
It shouldn't be like this. My soul; so forgetful. Soul Amnesia I'd call it. 30 Days of Thankfulness. A rhythm. Or so I thought. To remember gratitude. Deeply. In the places of our soul. Yet. Here it is another year and I have found myself with soul amnesia. Forgetting to name the good and working to see the finger prints of God. I almost missed this the other day. Thankful for the dancer girl whose excitement caused me to shift. I was busy. Caught up in the doing. I needed a reminder. Help in overcoming my soul amnesia. I stepped outside to marvel at the beauty. I ... View Post
What To Do With Another Birthday
Our Community mourns the loss of another young child. An accident. A bike. A heart ache so deep. We on the farm hurt as we pray for this family and long to ease their ache. Our days have turned to years. 7 years our boy has been gone. Today marks 8 birthdays we've celebrated without him. I never know how to handle this day. Some days I just want to run. Run from the searing pain; The memories and excitement of being a mom. The grace of the years raising children. Other days I want to dig in and remember. To hold tightly to the days and years we had together. I close my eyes and ... View Post
Putting More Feet Onto Our Dreams
We're putting more feet onto our dreams! Dream -a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal. Do you dream anymore? Has Covid stolen so much of you? When Covid began we were in the middle of my farmers worst depression. We were almost out of wood and still facing most of winter. We were purchasing feed at a rapid rate (and price) for the cows. Our cash flow was in the negative. And even the possibility of selling cows was not feasible. We were stuck. The weather raged. Covid reared it's ugly head. Reports of death and sickness flooded the news. Schools closed. Businesses ... View Post
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