There's so much going on. The days weigh heavy. Decisions. Work. Finances. Never ending. And panic rises. I feel it. I stuff and stuff. Not wanting to feel. My immune system fights off a cold. I cough. I cry. My eye is red and swollen. There is nothing easy these days. The days weigh heavy. Milk production continues to fall while our monthly cost of feed increases. Each turn is blocked. Cost versus production is high and we're slipping. Day by day. Further behind. A train wreck inevitable. We're tired. We've been struggling for so long. My farmer is weary. Weary ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #8 Winter. . . is Here
Winter. Hated by many. Loved by others. The longest Season in Vermont. Often tricky on the farm. Cold, wind and snow can cause extra work. Wood needs to be cut, because we can never get that done before Winter. Stored feed needs to be hauled for the cows. Extra work needed to ensure cows energy stays high. Making milk is important! Breakdowns are harder in the winter. But the rhythm of life slows. There's time for hot chocolate by the fire. Daylight scarce. Reading may happen before my farmer nods off. Dreams and plans are formulated while the winds blow. Spring is ... View Post
Finding Peace in the Fall Foliage
She waves as she pulls away. It's Friday afternoon and she's full of life and plans. She is navigating friends, classes, work and this thing we call life. I look at her and she smiles. I wonder as she pulls away if I will ever see her again. Will she too never come home? I think of that with all the kids. Especially as they drive away. Not always. Sometimes. It flashes before me. And the gut wrenching desire to hold them all right here with me rears. I turn to go back into the house. I don't want to descend into worry or fear. But, Oh, how easy it would be. I take a moment to ... View Post
What Is Your Legacy?
Do you think about your legacy? I try to walk by faith; keeping my focus heavenward- On Jesus. I try to surrender my will. Pray for strength. Ask for forgiveness. I fall short. Each and every day. I don't live up to the expectations I know I should. I fail. Every single day. I can't keep the house clean. I can't cook the food fast enough, with enough for everyone or in the way everyone likes. I can't ever finish the laundry, book work or chores. I fail every day. And every day I am reminded of my failures because they are in front of me. The dirty house, unfinished ... View Post
The Daily Grind
The Daily Grind. The same. Yet different. The alarm goes off. I snuggle closer to my farmer. These days have been so long and hard. Winters grip is tight. Wood is not burning. I lay my hands on my farmers shoulder as he awakes and silently pray that all he touches today will have success. He rises without a sound. His day has begun. It's 3:15 am. Before he heads to the barn he will make my coffee and bow his knee to the Giver of Life. He will check the boiler here to make sure the fire is going strong. Then and only then will he head to the barn. Once there the daily ... View Post
Bonus Day, Day #24 of Thanksgiving
Bonus Day! The Saturday after Thanksgiving . On the farm the Holidays are just like any other day. The chores need to be done twice a day. There's milking, clean up chores, feeding and checking on animals. A holiday doesn't stop the work. But my farmer will try to get in a little earlier so it's a treat! A bonus Day! AND he will also try to get in a little earlier the day after Thanksgiving so we can begin to decorate this old farmhouse! The kids bicker and fight. The youngest farm girl is out of sorts. I wonder how we'll make it through. They holler and throw angry words out. The ... View Post
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