"Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name" ~Natalie Grant This journey is relentless. There is no escape. The weight of grief a daily struggle. I cry out. The enemy flees;at the sound of His great name. Our fears; have no place at the sound of His great name! My anguish and my grief have been conquered. Do you know that power? Have you been washed in the blood? Can you stand on His promises? When your world is shattered and your baby isn't ever coming home; when your mom ... View Post
Don’t We All Just Want To Be Loved?
My Youth Pastor spoke at our wedding. He performed the ceremony in our field, over looking the beautiful, fall landscape and Mount Mansfield. He spoke on Love. (Big surprise! Right?) He quoted lyrics from secular songs. " I want to know what Love is", "Love; it never hurt so good". An entire society trying to figure out how to do love. Well, I am adding my 2 cents today to the litany of love experts. Love. It's not what you think. The romance and the chocolate. The flowers and the sex. It all has little to do with love. I know. Love has more to do with the sacrificing than the ... View Post
An Unwanted Visitor Is Trying To Call Again; Depression Is Not a Welcomed Guest
It is one of those days where the gloom threatens to spill over. As I opened my eyes the weight descended. The life without Elijah. Missing his presence in our lives. These days will come. The missing overpowering. The weight of the days necessity looming. I will not give in. Gary speaks of depression. It's been almost 18 years since we walked that weary road. A depression brought on by Elijah's birth and the switch from milking in a tie stall; to over night change to a milking parlor. Now brought on by Elijah's ... View Post
Fear. . .Slowly Strangles Trust
There are days I just want to make it all go away. I just want off this life I am living. The path is hard and unforgiving. The weight crushing at times. I long to shake this skin. I long to not ache. I should be rejoicing. We are done with chemo. We are done with radiation. I should be jumping for joy. But I can't. We still travel to the hospital. My farmer's weight is dangerously low. Food a necessity. Eating to live. His body racks with cough from excess mucus from the radiation. His sleep disturbed each night. I reach out and ... View Post
Two Roads Diverged, And I Had No Choice
The Road Not Taken BY ROBERT FROST Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I ... View Post
Distracted
The girls leave and strangely, I find myself alone. This does not happen very often. I expect to feel overwhelmed and sad. Yet surprisingly I feel fine. This might be due to the fact that we have a financial appointment in 2 hours and I have not gathered any of the information required. So, I begin the sprint to find obscure pieces of paper that I know I have seen in the past few months. . .but not quite sure where. I soon realize that I have lost much over the past few months but not my ability to be easily distracted. I head to the timer. I usually set it ... View Post
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