The fire. Coffee. The Quiet. The morning greets me well. I breathe deep the peace in these moments. For soon the farmhouse will come alive. Breakfast for 7. Preparations for Thanksgiving. Much, much to be done. This is the first Thanksgiving with out my dad. In 2013 I spent my first Thanksgiving without my mom and my son. Though the enemy of our souls would love to discourage and bring us down during a time of gratitude; we will stand; on the promises given by the Giver of Life. I have cherished memories of Thanksgiving at our Grandparents. A table stretched the length of the ... View Post
Lots of Celebrating in Heaven
He'd be 74 today. His birthday so close to his first grandchild. Today. They celebrate together. In heaven. Life has been full here. School starting. College girl back to school. The oldest farm girl leaving those sweet farmettes to impart knowledge on the next generation. The farm boy restless again. Searching. Stretching. The younger two growing. Blossoming. Here I am in this sea of emotions. Swept along. Washing clothes, planning meals, doing bookwork. Discovering a quiet house every once in a while. A strange sound. Today, I think on my dad. I miss him. The whole ... View Post
Turning Father’s Day Right Side Up
Rising early each morning, my farmer heads to the barn. Never complaining. Morning his favorite time. He's never upset to milk alone. He takes his time. Enjoying the quiet. Our children have appreciated this time as well. Moments spent with their father beneath a sea of stars. The chill of the early morning; stimulating. Walking with purpose. Cows to bring to the barn. Wildlife. Unfamiliar sounds. All part of the memory. Our journey to Organic Certification complete. It has been quite an ... View Post
Whom Shall I Fear?
I cut his hair. This man I call dad. My hero. Handsome. Fun. Handy. Now ordered and known intimately by the memory thief. He cracks a few jokes. We visit. It's time to go. I can feel the lump. The elevator; a mind of it's own today. My brother and I stand and wait. It's the leaving. I head to my car. I call my farmer. I can barely talk. I list off the "not right's" and the pain of the past 27 months. All the losses. So many. It clouds my ... View Post
He Held All These Moments First
There are no Christmas decorations. Actually there is no one home. I do not have my key, because it is still on the key chain that I can hardly bear to look at. So different from the years gone by. There are leaves all over the driveway and yard. More signs of change. Dad always kept his yard free of leaves and such. It's almost too much to bear. The heaviness and magnitude of all that is gone weighs me down. Each step towards the door; agonizing. I notice everything out of place. I see what's been moved. New pictures on ... View Post
