A silent, still night. The ache remains. Even after 17 months. 2 birthday's. 2 Christmases. And much in between. A loneliness along with the ache. I have lost my child. Our family so changed. And sometimes I feel lonely. I feel like I was part way through a really great book, one I have loved to read. And now the rest of the book is gone. Never to be finished. Year One, you are numb when you decorate the Christmas Tree. The Ornaments, they leave you gasping ... View Post
I Still Don’t Have Eyes To See; I Miss So Much
Once again I missed it. Someone else brought to my attention the obvious. How God has used his creation to show his heart. Literally. I missed it the morning Elijah stepped into Eternity. The heaven's declared their majesty in the shape of a heart. Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. I missed the heart. But I caught the colorful display in a picture. It wasn't until later that someone pointed out the heart. . So, I missed it again. In a ... View Post
Sometimes, What We’re Given, Is Not What We Want. Can You Relate?
He cracks a joke. His eyes twinkle. He doesn't smile. He doesn't have to; his eyes always have. He participates in a discussion. He prays. My farmer is feeling better. A weight beginning to lift. Even for a moment. His walk with the Joy Thief long. He has continued to climb those walls; doing the hard work. Nothing will ever be the same. But having a piece of him back is exhilarating. I miss his handlebar mustache. A different thief at work. Radiation and Chemo stealing unknown fragments along the way. Sometimes we don't ... View Post
What He Has Gained
The bell tolls. It's been more than 20 years since I have heard that sound. It stirs the memories held deep. The 4 months I lived across the street. When time was measured by the toll of the bell. The hour. The half. It seems like a life time ago. All my future still before me. Young, innocent. My walk with God was different then. He was all I had. There were few distractions. Much time spent in prayer. Though the richness and depth came with time. As I turn the corner the tolls end. I can feel the companion of sadness and loss begin to permeate. ... View Post
What Does It Look Like To Praise God In The Midst Of The Storm?
Psalm 92 It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, Don't you know it is good to praise the Lord? It is the cry of my heart. When troubles come and the darkness settles. It is hard to give thanks and praise. When the bills pile high and the day gets crazy. It is hard to praise. When your son is killed and you watch your children grieve, it is hard to give thanks and praise. Yet God continually encourages us to ... View Post
Walking Into Praise
An unexpected phone call. Psalm 8:4 what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Words of encouragement from a stranger; now friend. Messages of hope intended for my farmer. Compassion and grace right on the other end of the phone. Unexpected. Humbling. Hard to take. Job 38:4 Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. I call my farmer. I share the encouragement. Hoping to lift his spirits. He asks me "Why am I so depressed when so many are praying?" I remind him of ... View Post
