As the deer panteth for the water. We sing it in church. The Youth are leading Worship. My soul longeth after you. I sigh as we start to sing. It's one of those over sung praise songs. And I think it's lost it's meaning; until we sing this next line. You alone are my heart's desire And I wonder, is He alone my heart's desire? Is He all I really want? I know the answer to the question. I keep on singing. And I long to worship thee. You alone are my strength my shield To you alone may my spirit yield. You alone are my ... View Post
My Disconnected Saturday Thoughts
My Valentine's comes in all shapes and sizes. His hour; 3 a.m. His palette; the visible yard. Years of hearts in the snow, on the clothes line or even in the house if the weather was too fierce. Life size painted Cardboard heart. Heart stomped in the snow. All his quiet way. Few words. They speak volumes. Proverbs 12:23 The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool's heart blurts out folly. The world is transformed with the new fallen snow. Peaceful and serene. I am sure to soon be broken when the ... View Post
Even Before The Day Dawns. . . Much Work Has Been Done
Even before the day dawns much has been done. The farmer rises at 3 even through chemo and radiation. The cows need to be brought in, milking machines set up and milking started. Most of this happens while the rest of the world slumbers. Including me. It is not until 5 that I crawl out of bed. These cold mornings it is more of a leap. I grab coffee and the Word to begin my day. Always coffee. Always God's word. 15 years ago, when I was in the thick of working and book work for the farm; an 11 year old step daughter, 2 children and one on the way, I prayed. I asked God to help me find ... View Post
How Worry Is NOT My Constant Companion
Today we head to the hospital. The questions we have had; answered. The preparation for chemo and radiation will begin. I do not know what this journey will hold. My spirit is weary with grieving. Yet in my weariness, as I pass the pole, I see someone has placed a cross. I am later told it was Alaria, Elijah's girlfriends sister. My weariness is from the unknown. But worry has not been my companion. Great sorrow, deep agony; Yes, they follow me. But worry has fled in the face of peace. Because peace has also been my faithful and constant ... View Post
When You Don’t Feel Like Being Thankful. . . Day #23 Of Thankfulness
At times being Thankful is so hard. With all the grief and heartache, all the things that keep going wrong, it's hard to find the breath to be thankful. Inside burns; my whole world seems so fractured. Yet, I want to be thankful. I want to live the life God intended. I Thessolonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. It is a decision to be Thankful. It is a lifetime spent seeking for that in which to be grateful; even in adversity. Even when your world comes crashing down, and for a moment ... View Post
Even in Death The Single Socks Haunt Me. . . Day # 6 of Thankfulness
It's the missing that stops me short. The desire to see him. To chat before he falls asleep. I sit on the edge of his bed. I close my eyes. Oh, how can this be? I shake my head and look around the room. What do I do now? Pack up all his things? Relegate his life to a box? My weary heart is not ready for this. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I pick up the pile ... View Post
