He rings the bell. The bell rung to celebrate the end of chemo. I try to take a video. My hands shake. We are done with chemo. Unexpectedly. We thought we had one more week. They had miscalculated. Last week was the last treatment. The toxic cocktails have ceased. We are on to the next steps. Life after cancer, and life without our son. I fight back the tears that threaten to spill. They let me ring the bell. I ring it loud. I ring if for my mom, for my husband; for my son that I so desperately miss. I ring it for ... View Post
Do You Long For The Struggle To End?
When I think I can't take it anymore. I breathe deep. There are 4 more days. We can do this. We can make it. My house is out of control. Insurances are waiting for forms, tax preparations loom. I couldn't sleep last night. The first time in 6 months. I got up to pray and read those Ancient Words. I was reminded how the Israelite's were taken from their land. They were banished; sent into an exile they had been warned about. Yet they were told to prosper where they were placed. Even though they weren't in their homeland; ... View Post
When You’re Prayers Aren’t Answered. . .And Life Has Taken A Sharp Turn
The intent was for summers warmth to dissipate winters cruel blow. For the prayers on the bales to be seen when the sun has hidden itself for days on end. When the dark of the day is the longest and encouragement in short supply. I prayed over everyone of those bales. Every single one. I wrote my prayers out. I prayed for relief from the financial strain and plentiful nutrients in those bales. I prayed for protection for my family. For strength in the journey. But my prayers weren't answered. Sometimes they aren't. As a matter of fact my prayers were ... View Post
Even When The Darkness Closes In. . .We still Need to Praise
Psalm 17:1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. photo courtesy of Mallory Burritt Psalm 118:28-29 You are my God, and I will praise you; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His love endures forever. So often, those who have gone before us, have given praise to our God. Through the storms that rage and the blessings bestowed; they praise. The lessons learned through the Ancient Prophets cause us to continually turn back to praise. When we walk roads that ... View Post
What Really Matters Anyway?
January 11, 2021 I wrote this 7 years ago. I have reposted this today. The grief still stays. It changes. The longing to see my son is still so raw. Yet, my treasure still rests in heaven. I hope you're encouraged by these words. I pray that no matter what your days holds, that you know, "What Really Matters, Anyway?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 11, 2014 You didn't' store up treasure here on this earth. You weren't here long enough. The things of this ... View Post
Why I Don’t Want To Say Good Bye. . .Again
I don't want to say goodbye to 2013; at all. One might think, why? I should be ready to kiss 2013 Good Bye forever. But I can't. 2013 holds my son. It holds Winter Ball in January. A cruise in February. Mother's Day and every other day when Elijah walked this earth. When he was alive and his future full before him. Where his hopes and dreams were held tightly in the future that was to his. It held boot camp and life. 2013 holds Lacrosse, Memorial Day, Prom and ... View Post
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