I know the question is coming. It always does. It is how we converse. But it is the question I don't know how to answer. One I don't want to answer. I meet a new friend. Our daughters standing next to each other in the concert. While we sit next to each other. Since we have been homeschooling, there are a fair amount of students and families we do not know anymore. How many children do you have? I pause. I don't know how to answer this question. Sometimes I just say 6; the oldest is married and we just had a grand baby. And the conversation moves on; because babies are cute and ... View Post
What Really Matters Anyway?
January 11, 2021 I wrote this 7 years ago. I have reposted this today. The grief still stays. It changes. The longing to see my son is still so raw. Yet, my treasure still rests in heaven. I hope you're encouraged by these words. I pray that no matter what your days holds, that you know, "What Really Matters, Anyway?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 11, 2014 You didn't' store up treasure here on this earth. You weren't here long enough. The things of this ... View Post
Why I Don’t Want To Say Good Bye. . .Again
I don't want to say goodbye to 2013; at all. One might think, why? I should be ready to kiss 2013 Good Bye forever. But I can't. 2013 holds my son. It holds Winter Ball in January. A cruise in February. Mother's Day and every other day when Elijah walked this earth. When he was alive and his future full before him. Where his hopes and dreams were held tightly in the future that was to his. It held boot camp and life. 2013 holds Lacrosse, Memorial Day, Prom and ... View Post
Now He Has Perfect Sight. . . Day #2 of Thankfulness
I climb into bed. I am so tired. My spirit is deflated. The house is a mess. There is food on the counter. The floors have not been mopped in 3 months. There really is not a counter or table top that is not covered in clutter. My mind is cluttered. I know it. I can feel it. I have shifted my gaze. It is easy to do; when things get tough. When it's hard to breathe; we tighten our grip. We tense. And in those moments, I have taken my eyes off the One who is the only source of strength I ... View Post
Be Still My Soul, As the Waves of Grief Come
Psalm 63:1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for youin this parched and weary land where there is no water.I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory.Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you ... View Post
He is There And I Am Not
Sometimes the echo of the quiet is so overwhelming How does your soul reconcile that your child is gone? Church is always so hard. Today we sang this song. I don't know when I will be able to worship without tears streaming down my face. We will dance on the streets that are Golden. . . My son is dancing. . .on streets that are Golden. He is there. And I am not. This is hard and not right. I am learning to live moment by moment. More than that; is too much. I have grace for the moment; that is all. As I sing these words today, someone rubs my ... View Post
