My feet are planted firmly on the ground. It's about the only thing I plant. A farmer's wife that can not grow a garden. Can you believe it? It's true. It's the ugly truth. There is nothing green, or any other color, for that matter, that prospers under my thumb. I am more interested in cultivating souls. Cultivating ground that yields to our Savior. Soft earth willing to accept life in Christ. Or the hard packed earth, where trouble and pain have made joy almost obsolete. This is the ground in which I want to plant seeds. Seeds that sow eternal life, grace and peace for the ... View Post
Those Ancient Words. . . Aren’t Really So Ancient
We sit huddled at the farmhouse table. Each morning before we head off for the day those large farmer hands take the Ancient Words and breathe life into this family. It is not always holy. It is sometimes horror. With me dissolving into laughter over someones antics and receiving a glaring look from the farmer or the eldest son, now deep in the earth. But this morning we are huddled together because those carefree days seem like an eternity away. The eldest son called home. The farmer battling the wages of cancer. And we as a family ... View Post
Do You Ever Wonder What We Are Doing Here?
Do you wonder sometimes what it all means? I sometimes wonder. What are we doing here? What is my purpose. All this pain and uncertainty. What do I do with it? What is the purpose for each of these weary steps. Yet, I am amazed at the lessons learned and the things for which I am thankful. My farmer's side effects have been minimal. It is early still and someone reminded us that it is all cumulative. Still, it has been minimal. Today. We are half way through the treatments. Maybe not half way through the side effects, but half ... View Post
Are You Hurting? He Longs To Hold You.
Today is Day #14 of Radiation. He is half way through Chemo. The side effects have been minimal. . .up until now. This week they have begun to wield their wrath. It began with a metallic taste and now has moved to no taste or having a foul taste. This is a man who rarely, if at all, complains. Ok, rarely, if at all speaks. But he rarely complains. He pushes on no matter what. He is driven; in work, faith, commitment. There is a danger in this. Success of treatments needs a healthy body. He needs to eat and drink. Today I will begin trying ... View Post
Finding Joy And Grace For This Very Moment
Before I even open my eyes, I feel it. I have a headache and the missing is there. Some days it is not so apparent. But today it will be my constant companion. The deep longing. I want to wriggle out of this skin. I want all that has been lost to be restored. But it can't. The weight of the loss and what the future will hold threatens to pull me down. The hot burning has returned. I make coffee and look at the piles of laundry and book work still needing attention. The floors that need to be mopped, the ... View Post
Radiation And The Bat Cave Wall
They put on the mask and clip it to the table. He lies there so still. I touch his leg and pray. Red beams emit from the wall as they align the marks. The radiation is very specific. I swallow as they get everything prepared. We leave the room and a door closes; almost like the bat cave wall. Thick; protecting us all. But what about him? We are able to see him on the monitor. And I choke back the sobs that threaten to come. How can this be? Why do parents have to watch their kids endure this? Why do I have endure this? I ... View Post
