It's been another year. I can't believe it. 8 years. Where has the time gone? I saw a purple Nutcracker in the store the other day. I laughed. I would have bought it for you. You would have loved it. I can hear your laughter; even now. You made Christmas so magical mom. I've sat many nights in my parlor remembering our Christmas's on Putnam Street and then in your log cabin. Our tree resembles nothing of those tinsel, garland covered giants growing up. I loved coming downstairs and smelling the piney scent. I loved the stillness and glow of the colored lights. I will ... View Post
Sometimes the Naming is Hard, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 28
Sometimes the Naming is hard. 7 years and 4 months without our son, sometimes makes the naming hard. It still catches me off guard. The grief. The ache. The longing. A reordering of how life should be. There's room where there should not be. And the Naming of that for which I am grateful is work. Practice. A soul work. Because when the words do not flow and the heart hurts the desire to focus inward often trumps all else. I sit with the ache for a few days. It's Thanksgiving and there is food to make and pies to bake. And my heart just longs for a glimpse of my red headed ... View Post
A Different Kind of Thanksgiving, Day 22
The sun shines through the window. It's going to be a different kind of Thanksgiving. Plans are being cancelled. Travel discouraged. A different kind of Thanksgiving. The oven warms the kitchen as blueberry muffins bake and sausage fries. A second pot of coffee is made and scrambled eggs wait to be poured into the piping hot cast iron. I will set soup to simmer on the back burner and bread to rise. A different kind of Thanksgiving. Our church usually hosts a dinner on this night. A gathering. Fellowship. Warmth. Food. And Praise. Always praise. Because that is the ... View Post
Thankful Journal, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 18
On a whim, I sign up for an on line study. 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. A thankful journal. This was a few weeks ago. I have read the book and began counting my way to 1,000 - years ago. I start the study. It takes me most of the day to listen to the teaching. Most of it I have heard, or read. I find it refreshing. Naming the gifts we are thankful for. For 7 years I have recorded those gifts through the month of November, right here on this blog. Tonight. I wonder. When did I begin this naming journey? For a few moments I wonder. I head to the shelf for my 1,000 Gifts ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 11
30 Days of thankfulness Each day naming the gratitude. It sounds so trivial and repetitive. And it is. But it's so much more. It's slowing me down and helping me to be more present. I tend to rush through tasks. I struggle with focus. For this task, I want to be invested. 30 Days of Thankfulness. And so, I delight in seeking those moments of gratitude. Little, holy moments scattered throughout the day. Menial tasks, made holy by the naming of gratitude. Eyes open to the wonder and beauty. I stopped last night coming out of the grocery store. I was awed by the sheer beauty of ... View Post
Letting Go, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 10
I've begun the process of letting go. The hard work of looking at things and letting them go. You see for years I've held on to everything. Afraid to let it go. I might need it. It might trigger a good memory. It's. all. I. have. In quick succession I lost my past and my future. While I was reconciling my past (my mom). God called part of the future home (son). And I got stuck in that place. He almost allowed the present (my farmer) to be gone too. And in the grief walk process I held on to things, clinging to what has been and that which will never be. The "stuff" is ... View Post
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