I read cook books like they are novels. I love them. Especially ones with pictures. I often just look at the pictures and won't use the recipe. I may glance at the ingredients. I am finicky too. If it has too many ingredients, I won't cook it. My brother on the other hand. He is amazing. He will make fun stuff that tastes so good. Like Hot Weinies, just like the locals make. I need it to be simple, quick; what I have on hand. Mostly I have been a meat and potatoes girl. Lately, I have branched out. It began with ... View Post
I Want To Be Present; Right In The Here And Now
They move the drums. They are taking up space they say. The little girls are trying to organize the music room. All that is within me wants to scream. He had set them up. They are the way he had left them. .. that day. The last day he played. The last day he did anything on this earth. The bass drum ring damaged and in need of replacement. We had looked into getting it fixed; that last day he was here. The last day I have felt normal in 8 months. I slowly pull the drum set back out, away from the corner. I fight back tears. I keep my ... View Post
When Yesterday Is 7 Months Gone
Dear Elijah, It's been more than half a year since your feet have walked this earth; since time stood still and my heart broke in two. I can't believe that much time has passed. It feels like yesterday. 7 months of not my will, but thine. 7 months of learning to live a path I didn't ask for; death, cancer, treatments, grace. We all miss you a ton. Each day dawns with thoughts of you and remembering you're not with us. We all feel so incomplete without you here. It's hard to figure out how to do this walk. I miss your smile and the sound of your voice. I miss being your mom. I miss ... View Post
Monday Musings: How To Really Get Your Heart’s Desire
As the deer panteth for the water. We sing it in church. The Youth are leading Worship. My soul longeth after you. I sigh as we start to sing. It's one of those over sung praise songs. And I think it's lost it's meaning; until we sing this next line. You alone are my heart's desire And I wonder, is He alone my heart's desire? Is He all I really want? I know the answer to the question. I keep on singing. And I long to worship thee. You alone are my strength my shield To you alone may my spirit yield. You alone are my ... View Post
Are You Able To Run The Race With Perseverance?
Miss you so much. Don't know if I can handle next year without you. #brother This was Clarissa's face book post on June 20, 2013. It's the picture of them on the first day of school; his Senior year. Elijah had gone on a trip the day after graduation. We all missed him. Boot camp was coming and we knew we weren't prepared. He rarely left home. His presence always here. He wasn't one for sleepovers; preferring his bed to others. Little did we know. Clarissa and Thomas have devotions for Youth Group. The topic; Perseverance. With the Olympics permeating much of our ... View Post
Looking Forward To Spring
There is tension as we step towards spring. Equipment needs to be greased and oiled; repairs completed. Yet there is snow on the ground and the tease of spring seems ages away; though it rests just around the corner. All the while the daily milking and chores continue. The longer days give way to cold nights. Warm days and crisp nights brings the flow of sap. All of creation knowing what role it plays. The cows are making less milk each day. This is a journey we take every year. Each cow needs a wee vacation before she ... View Post
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