I lean into that farmer of mine. The tears flow freely; the ache piercing. Its not fair I say. I don't like this plan. I want to cook for him, hear his voice, look into the deep blue eyes. I want to know how he is doing and dance at his wedding. I want to pick up his dirty clothes and fight with him. Fighting with him was like sparring. Engaging, mentally challenging and exhausting all at once. That dear farmer of mine wraps me tight in those long arms. He holds me while I release the pent up tears. Tears I have tried to not shed for months now. Feeling like I am a burden to ... View Post
The Last Day
The Last Day. . . I snapped this picture on July 27, 2013. The college girl and youngest farm boy were headed to a week of camp. That oldest farm boy leaned in the car window and hugged his brother. I captured the moment. Little did I know it would be a gift. It was the Last day those boys would see each other. A week later I returned to pick up those kids from camp. That youngest farm boy headed straight for the fields. His restless being and love for farming propelled him to jump right in. The oldest farm boy had gone off on a shoot with a friend and his dad. My farmer headed ... View Post
The God Who Sees Our Need, and Provides
He speaks of God's provision. Our Pastor. My mind drifts. (this is not uncommon) Abraham's willingness to listen; to do the hard things. Genesis 22 (Yes. The whole chapter. It is a nail biter) He brought his son. His beloved son to be sacrificed. His ONLY son. His prayed for son. Obedience. He didn't question God. Yet, when his son Isaac asked the question, "Hey, dad, where is the lamb for the sacrifice?" I am sure many things went flying through his thoughts. We don't know what those were. We only know what he said. "God, himself, will provide the lamb." God will provide ... View Post
The Day in Between
The wave comes with out warning. Slams my being. I realize I have uttered a moan. The tears fall. My dancer girl looks strangely at me. The face of grief. Unexpected. How do you put words to the deepest longing? How do you explain that as you pass this spot on the road, you can never forget. The spot where your son brought you to get your car. The last conversation you had together. How do you explain the ache? The missing is so hard. We have journeyed to the cross this Lenten Season. Each day closer. Looming. Jesus took the walk to Calvary for us. He chose to travel the ... View Post
Are You Content?
Lent is almost over. We're heading into Holy Week. So many choose not to observe these practices. This year I have struggled to stay focused. The discipline and reach for more; difficult. The connectedness with my Savior; not there. The day dawned warmer. I took a walk in the afternoon sunshine. It's still too early to see signs of Spring. The daffodils, tulips and hyacinth are still cuddled deep in the earth; not willing to risk the bitter winds. The earth is slushy as I walk. The deep frost letting go. The river plays a melody. Content, I walk on. I love and hate this ... View Post
This Moment Counts
The sun streams in through the windows. Warmth. It's been so cold. The wind; relentless. Sunshine, scarce. I chase the sun through the rooms, as the afternoon gives way to evening. Even the evening is being chased. Days growing longer. This time of year is always a battle. A fight to enjoy each moment. Darkness; permeating all. Cold seeping through each crack and crevice in this old farmhouse. Lately, I can't seem to get warm. I cook and bake. I layer clothes. Still. I struggle. To get warm. This day. The sun shines. A glorious respite from the dark. Do not be ... View Post
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