We've begun to advertise. An event. It's hard to think of it as a celebration. A Memorial Fund. A hope. A dream. A desire. A legacy. A way to help; give back. Money that will be collected and placed in a fund to grow. We have already begun to give. A College Scholarship. Donations to the Band and Lacrosse Team. In the future maybe 2 or 3 Scholarships. Maybe Leadership Scholarships for aspiring Military students. A way to keep his memory alive. To be the hands and feet of Christ. Giving. As ... View Post
I Am Found
Each day I read last years post. Counting down the days of his life. Searching for meaning. Something I have missed. Like an addict looking for a hit. I want to see something. I long for just a glimpse. It consumes me; if I let it. How I want to touch or feel something connected to him. These final days of his life. He would live for 19 more days. That is it. I didn't know. My son. Full of hope; a future. We were mourning the loss of our puppy. Still grieving my mom, my parents dog, my dad's ... View Post
Betrayal And Thanks, In The Same Sentence
The house is so quiet. Our new family have settled in their home. The past week and a half has been non stop crazy with 12 people under the same roof. But it was community. Learning to live with another. Sharing chores. Helping. Bearing one another's load. A practice long abandoned in the name of independence. Families drifting apart. Help seen as hindrance; dependence. I enjoyed the help. The common desire to serve our families. Pooling resources. Dinner cooked. More time. Laundry switched. I think if they had ... View Post
The Everyday
He comes to visit.On his way home from work. He sits with us on the porch. So different. Elijah's friend. Here to talk about the fundraiser. A fund raiser to bless graduates. Hopefully many more along the way. To help. Offer support. In Elijah's name. Because he has been called home. I look at this boy in front of me. He and Elijah friends since they were small. I can't help but wonder. What would Elijah be doing right now? How hard this must be for Elijah's friend; helping with this fund ... View Post
What Our Sick Souls Need
She's sick in the night. The 5th to succumb to this stomach bug that is making it's way through the family. The birthday girl. Sick. Physically. Weak and in need. I have been up for long hours each night. It's been years since we've had a stomach bug. Now the youngest. Aren't we all sick? Spiritually sick? Our bodies inching towards death each day? Our weary souls sick with sin? The deep dark place. In need of redemption. Cleansing. A daily walk to the cross. Being washed anew. Psalm ... View Post
I Fear She Will Forget
Today is the anniversary of Davis Farm's first blog post. Little did I know then how this blog would become an outlet for my expression through deep grief and cancer. How I would wrestle with all things eternal. It seems like just yesterday that Gary and the kids went off to the Williston Parade. As usual there had been much activity. It was nice to have a few moments to myself. I can't remember what I did with those moments. I am sure I made an ice cream cake for Eleanor's birthday. I probably wrote the post. But most ... View Post
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