So much of my daily journey takes me back to last year. How I felt. So much I do not remember. So much is still stuck vividly in my mind. This post echoes the cry of my heart. This week I have felt weary and worn. But we are holding on. Clinging to the rock that is higher than I. Dear God, I find myself in a deep place today. My first thoughts are usually to bring praise and Glory to your name. It is the habit established for more than 20 years now. My first thoughts when my eyes flutter open are to praise you. . .no matter how I feel. Today. . .I opened my eyes and ... View Post
The Importance Of Naming; remembering 9/11
She's been playing the cello for 3 years. She practices willingly. . . sometimes. This summer she didn't want to play. She said she was done with the cello. But she has music in her soul. She fought the entire process. I knew in my mommy's heart she will long to play someday. So we begin the fall lessons. She doesn't want to go. She is angry. We talk through trusting me on this one. That sometimes mommy's know things. She agree's to trust. This little 9 year old. Stepping in faith. A ... View Post
A re-posting of: What You Are Unprepared For
These are words I typed out in the dark of the night this day last year. A heart longing for direction in the midst of grief. A heart that still longs to hear the voice of God. A heart still longing for the pieces to be placed back in the fragile shattered heart. September 10, 2013 What You Are Unprepared For What do you do with the book you find; given to Elijah from Nana on the event of Clarissa's birth? For a moment your heart skips. . .and you are brought back to that day. You can hear the sounds. You can hear your moms voice. You can see your sons excitement ... View Post
Lessons Learned From The Pig Pen
Some days I just want to play all day. I want someone to feed me and take care of my basic needs. A little like the piggy, wiggies. When the sun shines, I will soak up the warmth with not a care in the world. When I am scared, I can crawl into a pig pile. I can feel the safety and security of those closest to me. Alas, I am not a pig. Though I dare say I live like one sometimes. My room is such a mess. But, I am not a pig. I do have responsibilities and burdens to carry; no matter how ... View Post
Here’s To Mom’s
Here's to moms who've lost a child. Whose hearts have teetered on the edge. Whose world stopped for just a moment in time. When the eternal met the sweet, earthly soul. The mom's that have shed a thousand tears. While piercing pain rips through their soul. Mom's who get up every morning. Put one foot in front of the other. Who press through the day and create a home A home fractured and never the same. The mom's that stand by their child's bed. With wracking sobs. Never to caress the forehead again. The abdomen that swelled with ... View Post
His Song Is Different Now
The day is done. His birthday over. There was no cake. I couldn't. But one of his friends sent me a picture of one she baked. This mama's heart swelled with gratitude. He is remembered. We tried to have a bonfire; but like last year, the rains came and the heaven's declared their majesty. The beat of the thunder kept cadence with the rain. We gathered on the front porch. We stormed the throne of grace in prayer. Thanksgiving for being held. Strength for the future. Time together. I climbed the stairs to say good night to the ... View Post
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